smackdown

It’s time to party in Las Vegas. There were three championship matches booked for the show so the odds were pointing toward a title change of some kind. Vince McMahon was also in the building which is always neat too!

Opening Segment

Kevin Owens’ music broke out and he came out with a fantastic grin on his face. He probably looked in a mirror right before he went out and remembered how awesome he is.

KO welcomed everyone to the Kevin Owens Show. He said fans should get used to hearing him say that too. He brought up how Shane brutally attacked him last week but he didn’t fight back because he respects authority.

Owens said he’s suing “everyone in WWE” until SmackDown Live is no more. He said we’re going to have the Kevin Owens Show from now on. Then he started talking about improvements he was going to make. He said he was going to fire people. He said he’d fire Sami Zayn.

Then he said he was going to make Byron and Tom share a suit on commentary because they sound the same anyway. He said he was cancelling the Fashion Files and people booed.

Then Owens called out Mr McMahon because he had something to say to him. Instead, Shane’s music played and Ziggler came out in a Shane-O Mac jersey doing a spot on imitation of him.

Owens said he thought Ziggler was Shane at first. But then he realized it was someone who was talented and actually works there. Ziggler waved to the crowd and said he’s putting that entrance in the maybe pile. Then he left.

Before KO could say anything else, Daniel Bryan’s music hit and The Bearded GOAT actually came out.

Insert a ton of Daniel Bryan chants here.

D-Bry said KO doesn’t run the show, but he does. He said the fun and games are going to end soon. Then KO said Bryan doesn’t have to worry about losing a job because he plans on making Daniel a janitor on the Kevin Owens Show.

Daniel said Mr. McMahon is going to be here very soon and Kevin isn’t going to like what he has to say. Then Owens said McMahon isn’t going to like what he has to say.

AJ Styles vs Tye Dillinger (US Title Match)

The US Open Challenge was only open to one person and Styles wanted another match with The Perfect 10.

They traded some quick rope running and reversals off the bat until AJ hit a beautiful drop kick to set the tone. They fought on the apron and AJ Styles was thrown against the ring post to send him crashing to the floor.

They made it back to the ring and Dillinger hit a backbreaker for a two count. He kept applying some damage to AJ’s back. Styles tried to come back but Dillinger kept hitting AJ with back focused moves.

AJ mounted an offense with some strikes but Tye came back. AJ missed a Pele Kick and Dillinger returned with a dropkick. AJ eventually found himself on the top rope waiting to strike.

Then Baron Corbin ran down to get involved and AJ jumped down to knock him off the apron. Tye got a roll up for a two count and then eventually hit the Tye Breaker. 1-2-kickout.

But it was only a matter of time before AJ Styles slapped on the Calf Crusher and Dillinger had no choice but to tap out.

After the match, AJ and Tye shook hands like true babyfaces. Then Baron Corbin drug AJ under the ropes and sent him over the barricade. Dillinger went outside and got his head clotheslined off for his troubles.

Baron Corbin hit AJ Styles with the End Of Days on the outside and announced he was Styles’ opponent for his US Open Challenge next week.

Rusev Interview

The Bulgarian Brute said he needed to go home to Bulgaria for a while after his SummerSlam loss. But they didn’t greet him. They embarrassed and shamed him because he went home as a loser.

He said he must break a legend and then he left.

Jinder Mahal Graces Us With His Presence

Jinder Mahal came out with the Singh Brothers. Mahal cut a promo about getting inside Nakamura’s head. They showed a picture of Shinsuke looking awesome on the screen and laughed at him. He said Nakamura looked constipated in the picture and the Singh Brothers were falling over each other laughing.

They showed another pictrure of Shinsuke. Jinder said this is what Nakamura looks like when he’s listening to Michael Jackson thinking “what can I rip off next?” The Singh Brothers did a bad imitation of Shinsuke’s taunt.

This kind of excellence carried on for a bit. Then Mahal chastised the crowd for laughing at what he was saying. Jinder said Nakamura doesn’t want the title because people will treat him the same way as they treat him.

He advised Nakamura to walk away and got the crowd to chant USA for a little bit. He started speaking in Punjabi and closed out his promo.

Backstage Segment

Kevin Owens was backstage telling a stagehand his plans and what he needs for The Kevin Owens Show. Then he noticed Sami Zayn.

KO walked over to Sami and told him he’s about to out of a job. Then Sami Zayn said he would rather go back to working in armories than ever work for him.

The Usos vs New Day (SmackDown Tag Team Title Match — Sin City Street Fight)

This match would feature Kofi Kingston and Big E because Xavier Woods wasn’t quite up to wrestling shape just yet. His knee still had a little healing to do.

These two teams started going as soon as the bell sounded. New Day tossed Usos out of the ring and immediately brought a table out. Kofi took a sick back drop on the outside and Usos double teamed Big E. They tossed him against the ring post sending the big man crashing to the floor.

Usos eventually found themselves alone in the ring with Big E and they took turns whacking him with a kendo stick. Then Kofi came in the dodge some kendo stick shots and deliver some of his own.

He broke the kendo stick into pieces over Jimmy Uso. Jey got tossed to the outside and Jimmy jumped up and caught a chair in the face that was already propped up on the ring post. Kofi climbed the top rope with a chair and tossed it to Jimmy. Kofi stomped on the chair and got a two count.

Kofi threw a chair at Jey’s head on the outside to keep him down. Kofi went for a Trustfall on the outside from the top rope, but they caught him and tossed Kingston into the barricade. Then Big E started seeking revenge.

Big E returned to the ring and hit a couple belly-to-bellies and swiveled his hips before splashing on both of Dem Usos. Jey avoided a Big Ending, but Jimmy rolled him up for a pin with his foot on the rope. E kicked out and hit a Big Ending but Jey jumped in to break up the pin.

Then The Usos took Big E to Superkick City. The Usos climbed the top ropes on either side of the ring. Kofi jumped up and pushed Jey off the top rope and through the table.

Kofi hit a kick to Jimmy. Then they hit the Midnight Hour. 1-2-3 and The New Day are four-time WWE Tag Team Champions.

Natalya vs Naomi (SmackDown Women’s Title Match)

Sooooo they didn’t show the entrances for the competitors, but they showed Ronda Rousey in the crowd right before this match. Carmella was on commentary with James Ellsworth standing next to her. He had a cheetah spotted dog collar and leash on. They had like a trendy S&M deal going. It was… well, it was just weird to see.

Naomi and Natalya fought in the ring and The Glow hit a sliding slap to Natalya after a near fall during the beginning. Then Nattie smashed Naomi’s face against the top rope and got a near fall of her own.

Nattie kept up the pressure on Naomi but couldn’t close the deal for the next couple of minutes.

Corey Graves asked Carmella what’s with the collar around Ellsworth’s neck and all she said was “I’m in charge, I do what I want now.” Good explanation.

Naomi hit a nice slingshot leg drop while Nattie was suspended from the second rope for a two count. Nattie soon found herself out of the ring and Carmella and Ellsworth got in her face. Naomi nailed them with a top rope cross body to the floor and it was excellent.

But that seemed to be too much of a distraction because Nattie snuck up behind her to toss The Glow against the ring post. Once she rolled Naomi in the ring, Nattie slapped on the Sharpshooter and had no choice but to tap out.

Backstage Segment

Aiden English was backstage singing when KO walked up to him. Kevin told him not to stop on his account and said he actually enjoys Aiden’s voice. Then he asked English to sing the lyrics to the new Kevin Owens Show.

So Aiden English sang him a little into. Kevin seemed to really like that.

Dolph Ziggler 

Ziggler came out to his own music and talked about what he pulled off last week. He said elaborate entrances are just put out there by Superstars who couldn’t lace his boots. Then Ziggler said fans only associate elaborate entrances with being a star. “So you know what? Fine” Ziggler said.

Then Bayley’s music played and Dolph ran out looking like The Hugger. The big tube men went up and then Ziggler stopped. He asked the crowd if that was bubble gum enough for them. Then he said the fact is the bell eventually has to ring and they have to compete.

Ziggler was then reminded of someone who couldn’t hold a candle to his athletic ability but for some reason everyone idolized him. Suddenly the Ultimate Warrior’s music hit and Dolph came running out doing his best Warrior impression. He bounced around the ring and shook the top rope.

Dolph asked if this is what it’s come to. Tassels, face paint, blow up dolls (he called the Bayley Buddies blow up dolls)… then Dolph said no one can do what he does in this ring one more time so we’d believe him. He said “each and every one of you couldn’t care less. Well, guess what? I couldn’t care less about you.”

Then he left threw the microphone down and left. It’s almost the exact same promo he cut last week only he was ripping off different Superstars this week.

Hype Bros vs Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable

It’s time for the fun to really begin because Benjamin and Gable were out to put on a show.

Mojo Rawley got wrestled all over for a bit by Gable and Benjamin. Shelton hasn’t lost a step and he looks so much better than he ever did before.

Ryder and Benjamin had the chance to wrestle around a little bit. Zack went for the Rough Ryder but Shelty reversed it. Zack soon ended up on Shelton’s shoulders and Gable jumped in to hit a fantastic double team move. 1-2-3 it’s over.

After the match was over, they all shook hands except for Zack Ryder who just turned and walked away while holding his face and looking pissed off.

Mr McMahon

Kevin Owens came down, grabbed a microphone but didn’t say a word. Instead, he just motioned for this to begin and it soon did when Mr. McMahon’s music hit.

Vince strutted down the ramp and into the ring. Owens said this is a first for him to get to stand in the ring with the Chairman and CEO of WWE. Then he said Vince was intimidated.

Vince said he wasn’t intimidated, he was nauseated. Vince recapped last week’s events and wasn’t happy about what happened. Then he told KO he didn’t fight back because Shane was beating his ass.

Vince asked KO how he had any respect at all when he looked in the mirror. Vince said the moment he files a lawsuit he’ll fire him and go to do his “you’re fired” catchphrase in KO’s face.

Vince asked Kevin if he knew how many court battles he’s been in and he hasn’t lost one. He said the laws in the land were written for people like him. He said by the time the lawsuit ever gets to court there’s going to be a B next to his name: bankrupt.

Owens said Shane put his hands on him and Vince understood that which is the reason why he suspended him. But Vince said what he didn’t do was finish the job. Vince said he suspended Shane for not doing a variety of things which would pretty much disembowel KO. Vince said KO disparaged the McMahon name and he deserves it.

Then Vince McMahon booked Kevin Owens vs Shane McMahon inside a Hell In A Cell.

Kevin said that was fine but he wanted Vince to promise him he wouldn’t fire him after he beat him senseless. Vince gave him his word and smiled while he shook Kevin Owens’ hand.

Then Kevin Owens shoot headbutted Vince square in the head. Like VERY HARD. VINCE WAS BUSTED OPEN THE HARDWAY. You could tell Vince was telling Kevin to give it to him while they shook hands.

Vince got up and Kevin punched him back down. Then Owens kicked Vince in the ribs. WWE officials ran down to get Owens off him but he wouldn’t stop. Vince got back up and KO superkicked him down. Kevin climbed up to the top rope and even though he was begged not to, he still hit a frog splash on the Chairman Of The Board.

The beating was intense and KO was relentless. While KO walked up the ramp Stephanie McMahon walked out and went to her father’s aid. They helped him up the ramp while the blood gushed from the hole in his head.

“You know the president! Deport him!” you could hear one fan yell while Vince limped up the ramp. That was a crazy way to kick things off toward Hell In A Cell.