the miz

[This is a live result so keep checking back throughout the night]

Raw was not-so-live on time delay from Manchester, England but just because the show wasn’t airing live doesn’t mean they weren’t ready to bring an incredible show.

Opening Segment – Miz TV

Miz and his Miztourage was in the ring to kick off the show and the ring was all done up for Miz TV. Curtis Axel had a neck brace on which is just a hilarious gimmick at this point to signify they got the crap beat out of them on the previous episode.

The Miz hyped his match against Baron Corbin and came down on The Lone Wolf for talking about Maryse and their unborn daughter. Miz mentioned how Corbin said he would be calling The Lone Wolf daddy by the time this was all said and done. Insert “who’s your daddy” chants here.

The Miz chastized Baron Corbin for going to such an easy line with the whole “who’s your daddy” line. The Miz really was fire during this promo as he said he would make Corbin and his US Title “actually relevant.”

Then The Miz introduced Kurt Angle. Insert tons of “you suck” chants here.

Kurt brought up the TLC pay-per-view pretty early on in their interview. The Miz said Angle just wanted to experience one last ride of glory with The Shield. Then they played the footage of Stephanie McMahon yelling in his face last week while threatening his job if he didn’t win at Survivor Series. It’s true, it’s damn true.

Angle said he’s not going anywhere because this is Monday Night Raw, the longest-running episodic show in history. They have the best show, talent, and fans. Then he called SmackDown the B-show. So The Miz showed footage of when SmackDown recently took Raw “under siege” followed by footage of Daniel Bryan getting chokeslammed in the dark last week.

Kurt Angle said he had no part in the Kane attack on D-Bry and apologized to Daniel Bryan too. Miz blamed Angle for setting him up for Braun Strowman’s attack last week. Luckily The Miz and Bo Dallas were able to escape, but Curtis Axel wasn’t as fortunate. Miz said Axel deserves an apology instead.

Miz cut Angle off with his hand up/mouth shut tagline and Angle got in Miz’s face. Then Miz asked Angle why he rewarded Strowman by putting him on Team Raw. Angle said Braun deserves to be on Team Raw because he is “one hell of a negotiator” because he promised The Monster Among Men a match against Miz.

Elias vs Jason Jordan (Guitar On A Pole Match)

Yes, this match actually happened and as I was prepared to crap all over it I looked down and totally noticed I was wearing my “Walking With Elias World Tour” t-shirt. But if anything, it could be a sign WWE creative might have finally picked up when Vince Russo called them. After all, you know how much Russo loves to book “on a pole matches.”

Elias was in the ring when they came back from commercial where he said he was “destiny manifested”… neat! He was actually quite over and plenty of people acted like they wanted to walk with Elias. He said he felt naked because “one of my babies has already been taken to the sky and put on the pole.”

Even though Elias didn’t have a guitar, he was still up for a song and asked for a request. Then he asked if they wanted to hear him sing “Wonderwall” and everyone did. But he didn’t sing it because WWE probably didn’t want to pay Oasis for the rights. Instead, he sang an original song about how much he hated Manchester.

JJ’s music interrupted Elias’ song and they got to their match.

In a match like this, it’s pretty much over as soon as someone touches whatever’s on the pole so there was a lot of beating around the bush. Booker T said on commentary that getting hit with a guitar hurt which is a no-brainer.

JJ went for the guitar after a body slam but Elias dragged him down and went to work on Kurt Angle’s baby boy. Then Elias started to climb and picked it right up.

Elias readied himself but JJ ducked the guitar shit and kicked him in the gut. Elias dropped the guitar and Jordan grabbed it. Elias rolled outside and JJ chased him around the ring. They got back in and Elias kicked Jason to get the guitar back.

Elias swung with the guitar but JJ grabbed him and sent Elias into the turnbuckles and hit a belly-to-belly suplex. Jason Jordan grabbed the guitar and destroyed it over Elias’ back.

And that’s the match!

Winner: Jason Jordan via Guitar SMASH

The Bar walked up to Kurt Angle backstage and said he’s showing The Shield favoritism because he’s not making them prove their worth. They said they wanted a shot to represent Raw at Survivor Series because they know they can beat The Usos and said Angles know Ambrose and Rollins can’t do it. So he booked a Raw Tag Team Title match for later on in the show. That one should be interesting.

Asuka vs Stacy Coates

Hey! It’s time to watch Asuka destroy someone! This should be fun and it was! Asuka won with the Asukalock after giving Coates a really bad time.

Winner: Asuka via submission

Alicia Fox came on the screen and announced Asuka is now on the women’s Team Raw at Survivor Series. All I can say is she needs to be one of the soul survivors because if her first pinfall is in a Survivor Series style elimination match I might have to buy a new television, computer, and phone because I’d be breaking everything in sight.

Titus O’Neil and Apollo Crews were backstage where Titus said they love having fun but last week wasn’t fun at all. Now he has his eyes set on Samoa Joe and he said Joe is in trouble. We’ll just have to see about that one.

Titus O’Neil vs Samoa Joe

Okay, so this match got off to a really fast start. Actually, the match didn’t start at all. Joe just jumped Titus as he was coming out. Joe tossed Apollo Crews off the ramp and locked Titus in a Coquina Clutch.

The referees had to pull him off. Joe got in the ring and said it doesn’t matter how big you are. If you’re in his way he’s putting you down. “So if anybody wants to prove me wrong feel free to come on down here because I’m not done yet.”

Then…Finn Balor’s music hit and Fonzie Finn came out. Neat!

Finn Balor vs Samoa Joe

This was a great treat for the Manchester crowd and they were very into seeing the man formally known as Prince Devitt.

Joe and Finn are no strangers to each other because they’ve had some wars while in NXT. These two traded moves and jockeyed for position. Finn hit a kick from the apron and climbed to the top. Joe crotched Finn on the top turnbuckle and Balor went crashing to the mat.

Joe started hitting strikes and a kick to the head for a two count. Samoa Joe is so fast and very strong. It’s really a dangerous combination. Joe hit a few more moves capped off by an elbow drop to Balor’s chest for another two count as Booker T described him as being “smooth as silk.”

Finn Balor was really taking a beating in this match but Balor hit a kick and a forearm to create some separation. Balor his a flying forearm and shot Joe to the corner but a kick to the face from Joe stopped Finn short. Joe went to the top but Balor kicked him off and to the floor. Then Balor hit a baseball slide and a kick to the face from the apron.

Finn put Joe in the ring but he rolled right out the other side. So Finn Balor ran around the ring and hit a flying forearm on the Samoan Submission Machine.

The two eventually found themselves trading shots in the middle of the ring and Finn capped it off with an overhead kick which sent them both to the mat. When they got up Balor hit a Sling Blade and a shotgun dropkick. Finn climbed to the top but Joe got up before the Coup De Gras.

Joe hit a uranage slam and soon followed it with a Coquina Clutch. Balor used the turnbuckle to escape the submission and hit a double stomp. Joe powered out of the ring and Finn Balor hit a beautiful flipping dive on Samoa Joe.

The two ended up fighting on the entrance ramp where Joe tossed Finn up the ramp and the referee kept counting to 10. Neither guy made it back in the ring

Winner: Nobody via double count out

The two brawled up the ramp and Finn soon got the upper hand. WWE officials pulled Balor off and then Joe jumped on Balor. These two really wanted a piece of each other. Balor jumped Joe once the officials separated them. Finally, Kurt Angle came down and said “enough, enough, I said enough!”

He said this is the kind of action he wanted on Team Raw so he put both Finn and Joe on the Survivor Series Team for the Red Brand.

But these two weren’t done with each other yet. Finn hit a dive on Joe off the ramp and they pulled him off Samoa Joe once again while Balor’s music played on.

The Miz and his Miztourage were backstage while the A-Lister was pacing around. Bo Dallas tried to convince Miz that monsters weren’t real but what was real was their intellect, their bond, and their strength in numbers. Axel didn’t know if they could do it though.

But Axel turned it around and then decided they could do it. The Miz was just pacing around the whole time while looking deep in thought without saying a word.

Kurt Angle was backstage on his cell phone talking to Daniel Bryan’s voicemail. He was saying he was sorry to Daniel Bryan. Jason Jordan walked up and the father and son hugged it out. Then Kurt Angle booked Jason Jordan as the final member of Team Raw. Can you say nepotism?

JJ was very happy and hugged his papa tightly after hearing this news.

Therefore Team Raw is Kurt Angle, Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, Braun Strowman, and Jason Jordan against Shane McMahon, Bobby Roode, Randy Orton, Shinsuke Nakamura, and a mystery opponent. Fun!

Bayley and Sasha Banks stopped by for a backstage interview. They said they haven’t talked to Foxy about being on Team Raw yet. Bayley said Alicia Fox is different but she’s not different enough not to pick them as members on Team Raw.

Bayley said the only hugs that will be given at Survivor Series will be hugs of consolation. Sasha Banks said they want to be on the team and they should be on the team. Bayley said Fox is blinded by “her new toys” in Asuka and Nia Jax but nobody shines brighter than Banks and Bayley.

Nia Jax and Alicia Fox vs Bayley and Sasha Banks

Alicia Fox didn’t want to get her hands dirty so she tagged in Nia Jax to toss Bayley around for a bit because she’s really good at it.

Banks got the tag and tried to hit a crossbody but Jax just caught her. Banks squirmed out of a slam and tried to take Jax down. But Nia soon picked Banks up and drove her into the heel turnbuckle. Fox got the tag and took Banks down with a headlock.

Banks turned it around and ended up getting a tag off to Bayley who took Foxy down with an armbar but Foxy soon hit a kick to the head and Jax got the blind tag. Nia dumped Bayley out of the ring as she continued to taunt the crowd.

Later on Bayley got a tag to Banks who hit a double knee drop off the rope onto Fox and then knocked Jax off the apron. She kept up the offense on Foxy and got a near fall.

Jax got involved and Bayley latched on a sleeper. Jax dumped Bayley outside but The Hugger held on and Banks flipped Jax over the top rope. The Boss then locked Alicia Fox in a Bank Statement and got the submission.

Winners: Sasha Banks and Bayley via submission

After the match was over Alica Fox said she needs and wants Banks on Team Raw. There’s your team but it still doesn’t include Bayley.

Braun Strowman vs The Miz (Non-Title Match)

The Miz walked out looking rather trepidatious about entering this match. As soon as the bell sounded The Miz powdered out of the ring for a huddle with Dallas and Axel.

Miztourage distracted Strowman for a bit, but when The Miz came in on the other side to jump him, Braun turned around and Miz ran off again. Then they tried it again and it didn’t work a second time. But Miz couldn’t run away that time. So Strowman tossed Miz across the ring and The Miz rolled out.

Strowman grabbed Miz and pulled him up to the ring, tosssed him into the ring post, and sent Mike Mizanin crashing to the floor. This was not a good day for The Miz.

“You didn’t learn your lesson last week, punk?!” Strowman yelled at Axel before tossing Miz back in the ring. Braun slammed Miz to the mat and went outside to knock Bo Dallas out and stalk Curtis Axel. But the neckbrace around Axel’s neck didn’t stop Braun from tossing him into the barricade. Then Braun returned to the ring, “you can’t run!” he yelled before tossing The Miz over the top rope and onto The Miztourage. It’s a good thing he has Axel and Dallas around so they can catch him.

Suddenly Kane’s music hit and The Devil’s Favorite Demon came out to look The Monster Among Men in the eyes. “You can’t kill me! I’m the only monster on Monday Night Raw!” Braun Strowman yelled. Then the two started beating on each other as the referee rang the bell.

Winner: Braun Strowman via DQ (I guess)

Kane tried to hit a chokeslam but Braun countered it into a running powerslam. Kane sat up and Braun clotheslined him over the top rope. Kane landed on his feet and acted like it didn’t phase him. Then The Miz and Miztourage jumped Braun but it didn’t do them any favors.

Strowman hit another running powerslam on The Miz this time and Braun Strowman posed like a true monster.

Renee Young interviewed Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose about their Raw Tag Team Championship match. Ambrose said they have to be fighting champions and they’re going to take care of business, eat some fish and chips, and have a few pints because that’s what they do best.

Seth Rollins said it doesn’t matter who they face because they’re going to continue to prove they’re the best tag team in the world. Rollins said he didn’t like The Bar and tried to get Renee Young to say she didn’t like them either, “I’m impartial” she said.

Then Seth Rollins said “this will always be the real bar” and Ambrose and Rollins did The Shield fist bump. After they walked away Renee Young threw her fist in where a third Hound Of Justice should have gone and it was simply adorbs.

Enzo Amore vs …..

Enzo was in Manchester and cut one of his usual promos except he was a total heel this time around. He said they should be grateful but in order to be grateful, they needed to be great first. He thanked his fans who chant for him, take pictures of him, and then he got an old-school Enzo Amore chant going and told the crowd to shut their mouths. One thing’s for sure Enzo Amore never shut his mouth.

Suddenly, in the middle of his promo which included making a reference to Neville as being a “little kid” he ran out of town Kalisto came down and jumped to ringside. Enzo told him to think twice and it would be twice as much as he’s thought all day.

Then some interesting music hit… Pete Dunne! Yes, the WWE United Kingdom Champion was in Manchester.

But Kurt Angle came out to mess with the crowd a little bit and hyped Dunne well… then he introduced the Bruiserweight and the arena went ballistic.

Dunne didn’t waste time and sent Enzo out of the ring while the Manchester crowd chanted “Bruiserweight.” Dunne dumped Enzo on the apron and ran in for a two count. Dunne executed an arm submission while torquing Enzo’s fingers at the same time. He’s so good, seriously. Everything Pete Dunne does hurts people which is what British Strong Style is all about.

Enzo got the upper hand after some heel tactics but it didn’t last long. Enzo tried to get a pin with his feet on the middle ropes but Kalisto called the referee’s attention to it. “Snitches get stitches!” Enzo yelled just in time for Dunne to catch him with a wicked elbow to the back of the head. Then Pete Dunne hit The Bitter End for the win.

Winner: Pete Dunne via pinfall

After the match was over Kalisto just stood over Enzo Amore who wasn’t moving at all and who could blame him? He just got his ass handed to him by The Bruiserweight! Seriously, Pete Dunne needs to be on Raw every week.

Alexa Bliss was interviewed backstage where she didn’t seem too worried about Natalya who she dismissed as an “eccentric cat lady.” Bliss said she never ran away like Natalya said she did. She’s a two-time SmackDown Women’s Champion and two-time Raw Women’s Champion. If you put two and two together you get one as in “one goddess in WWE.”

The Bar vs Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose (Raw Tag Team Title Match)

The Bar came down and when they took off their jackets they were wearing Liverpool soccer uniforms which got incredible heat from the Manchester crowd due to the long-standing rivalry between the two cities on the soccer field.

These two teams fought a little bit and The Bar eventually found themselves on the outside with The Shield in the ring. Ambrose and Rollins hit dives on each member of The Bar and then the action returned to the ring where the champs kept up the fight. Dean focused on Cesaro with some stiff chops but Cesaro’s uppercut is pretty stiff too which is what Ambrose felt before Sheamus got the tag.

Rollins got the tag and the Shield members took control and sent The Bar over the top rope.

The Bar soon took control and brought the fight to Dean Ambrose. Sheamus kept Dean down with a submission hold until Ambrose fought out but it was short-lived because The Bar double-teamed him with dual kicks and then Cesaro took him back down with a headlock. Sheamus got the tag again and continued the assault on Ambrose.

Ambrose created some separation but Cesaro knocked Rollins off the apron before a tag could be made. Then Cesaro geared Ambrose up for a superplex but Dean countered by sending Cesaro crotch-first onto the top rope and then clotheslined him off to send him crashing to the floor.

The Bar kept cutting the ring in half but Ambrose turned Sheamus into the ring post and Seth got the tag. He hit a blockbuster on Cesaro and hit a dive to Sheamus. Rollins returned to wrestle around with Cesaro. Seth hit a falcon arrow for another two count.

Cesaro turned it around with a super European uppercut for a two count. The Bar was going for a double crucifix bomb but Ambrose broke up the move. The Bar took control but The Shield countered with simultaneous shots for another two count.

The Sheild went for double dives to the outside but they were both countered. Dean was sent crashing into the barricade and Rollins was left alone in the ring. They hit a sick double team move that was like a Doomsday Device mixed with a powerbomb but Rollins kicked out at two.

Sheamus got the tag and they prepped for a double-team white noise but Ambrose ambushed them. Ambrose hit a Dirty Deeds and Rollins hit a Frog Splash but Cesaro broke up the pin on Sheamus.

Suddenly Big E’s voice broke out and The New Day’s music hit. But nobody could see Kofi, Xavier, or Big E… suddenly they came appeared in the audience. Michael Cole was talking about another invasion while Woods said he wanted to come out and applaud the crowd for staying awake through the three-hour “B Show.”

Kurt Angle was seen backstage rallying his troops including Hawkins, Rhyno, Slater, Braun Strowman, Goldust and many more.

The New Day continued to dish the dirt on Raw and told them to prepare for “under siege part two” while saying they weren’t going to do anything about it.

The Raw locker room crowded ringside while this championship match was still going on. Suddenly as The New Day were running away, Sheamus hit a Brogue Kick on Seth Rollins and scored a pinfall.

Winners and NEW Raw Tag Team Champions: The Bar

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Aaron Varble hasn’t just been writing for more than a decade in various formats including sketch comedy, stand up, television, radio, and other various projects; nor is he just another professional wrestling fan with a master's degree in journalism and Tourette’s syndrome. He's always looking to explore the why not with the why and the how come along with the how. Follow on Twitter @TheVarble