The 5 Best of the Worst…Jobber Edition

I’m the guy who will shamelessly admit that I always root for the underdog.

Not the stereotypical underdog like a Rey Mysterio or a Daniel Bryan but the underdog who legitimately has no other role than to enhance other talent.

I’m of course talking about the Jobber. Here is my top 5 best of the worst…Jobbers

5.) 3 Man Band

Most notably of course…Heath Slater. These are your current day Jobbers.  Also the hardest working guys in the business. They are on every show that WWE has to offer. Whether it be Raw, Smackdown, Main Event, or house shows you are bound to see one of these three superstars looking up at the rafters for at least three seconds.  They have all the key factors in what it takes to be a jobber. They have the pre match arrogance that only the best of Jobbers can pull off and the after the match shock as if they had never lost before. Heath Slater is the leader of the band and  also the best Jobber in the group. He seems like he really relishes the role. Slater…I salute your work.

4.)Funaki

Smackdown numba one show.  All thanks to this man. Funaki was Smackdown’s resident talent enhancement for the better part of 3 years. He was with WWE for many years before he was placed in his Jobber role though. He debuted with the company in 1998 as a part of the Kai En Tai faction. After they parted ways he went on to become pretty succesful in the Cruiserweight division.  He actually had a good run as the Cruiserweight Champion but his star didn’t rise until he stopped kicking out. Around 2007 Funaki was placed on the Smackdown brand and started to really take his form as one of the all time best Jobbers. While he was shamelessly promoting the Smackdown brand he was also key in jobbing to some of the better talent that the WWE had to offer. He had squash matches with the likes of Edge, Mark Henry and JBL. To this day Funaki regularly competes at independent house shows. Funaki, we here at STILL REAL TO US would like to say thank you for your work.

3.)Random Hero Jobber

These guys are always my favorite type of jobbers. They don’t get an entrance, they often wear very bland outfits and also usually perform under a lame duck name. These are the guys that are usually called upon to perform the squash matches against the likes of Ryback, Mark Henry, and the Great Khali. They will almost always get absolutly no offense in their matches and will often not last longer than the opponents set up and finisher. These great men don’t deserve much more than what I have already wrote and to be honest they wouldn’t want any more. 15 minutes of fame for this crew is more like 15 seconds of pain.

2.)Zack Ryder

There goes my herooooo…..no not Antonio Cesaro. Zack Ryder performing one of his fan favorite moves right there. The Long Island Lay Down. Zack Ryder is the man. He embraces this role so much that he is making his own t-shirts with “The Jobber Is Here” imprinted across the chest. Also releasing a single titled “The Jobber is Here” that quickly shot up the iTunes charts into the top 100. To his credit he actually had a nice little run when Curt Hawkins and himself were the other Edges. Since then really though he was relegated to trying to gain notoriety anyway possible. Most notably was from his YouTube channel. The  Z! True Long Island Story debuted in February 2011. It promopted the “We Want Ryder” and “Ryder = Ratings” signs. Mr. Ryder you my friend go above and beyond and for that we appreciate you.

1.) Brooklyn Brawler

What more could you ask for in a Jobber. The cigar smoking, ripped shirt and dirty jeans wearing Brookyln Brawler was the king of the Jobbers. Steve Lombardi is the man behind the best Jobber in the business. He jobbed to the best in the business during his time and also was at one point managed by the great Bobby “the Brain” Heenan. The reason that the Brain started to mentor the Brawler was due to the arrogance that Heenan thought he could make anybody into a main event star. The list of men he put over is legendary but I find the fact that he won a total of 10 championships despite his Jobber role to be his best attribute. Another fun fact about the Brawler is that he actually pinned The Rock in the Rocks debut match at a house event. The Brooklyn Brawler really paved the way for everyone above. He is currently still employed with the WWE as a road agent. His love for the business never was in question. He was happy just being able to make the best look better. Mr. Lombardi, we will smoke the stogie in your honor……cough cough…ok maybe not but you will get number 1 status from us either way.