Alberto El Patron and Paige were recently at an awards ceremony and Alberto decided it was as good of a place as any to try out Periscope for the first time. Alongside Paige (who he calls his wife), Alberto goes on a rant, to say the least.

He spouts off the F-word and when Paige tells him to watch his language he tells her he doesn’t have to be PG, because she works for the PG company. There are plenty of veiled references to WWE. At one point he diverts his attention entirely because there’s a “f—— tiger.” Suddenly the camera pans to a large taxidermied tiger in the lobby of the building they’re in. That was quite amusing.

Alberto says, “yes, I’m a little drunk. You know that’s when the good stuff comes,” and boy did it ever. At one point during the Periscope video, he claims to know who hurt his baby and says he’s coming after him. Paige has to cover his mouth on several occasions to keep him from saying anything else. We don’t know what they’re talking about but we can only assume it has something to do with those awful leaks earlier last month.

After he referred to Paige as his wife he said the two plan on getting married in June. We wonder if that’ll make it on Total Divas too. Safe money is probably on the fact it won’t.

Although Alberto thanks everyone who has been there for him, he ends up admitting that he “doesn’t give a f—” if people are behind him or not. He’s obviously having fun just being Alberto. He says he was always angry when he was in that “other company” and now he can be happy.

He says that everyone in WWE (that other company) are just a bunch of p——, especially the one with the big nose. We wonder who he’s talking about there.

Alberto trolls the internet as he says Paige isn’t coming back to wrestle until he says she can. He also says that Paige is pregnant, but both of them seem to act like that’s not true. They seem to be having a lot of fun at the internet’s expense.

You really have to see this to believe it which is why we’re including both Periscope sessions below. The first one was actually during the awards ceremony, but it was mostly close-ups of Alberto’s nostrils because he was still learning the technology. If you’re into ADR nostrils, you can search out for that one yourself.