It’s the go-home SmackDown and we’re promised a few things including a Bray Wyatt vs. Luke Harper match, a Shane McMahon and AJ Styles contract signing, and more lost episodes of Total Bellas. WrestleMania is only a few short days away and the blue brand is ready to bring one heck of a show.
Daniel Bryan’s music hit and the “Yes” chants erupted. Looks like Mauro Ranallo is taking another week off, but at least David Otunga is back so it’s a three-man announce booth again. The crowd chanted for Daniel Bryan before he started off the contract signing between AJ Styles and Shane McMahon.
Pretty sure Shane-O-Mac runs faster when he’s moving backward. AJ looked very confident while he was walking down the aisle. It looks like they’re using the same contract signing set as they did on Raw last night with Trips and Rollins, only the mat has a blue carpet tonight. Maybe it’s a reversible carpet with red on the other side?
They both signed the contract without much to worry about. After all, neither one of them were signing a hold harmless agreement. Shane talked about how they dreamed of making SmackDown a place where management wouldn’t push their own agendas and you could hear a bunch of people laughing.
Shane said AJ was phenomenal and Styles agreed with him. Shane even got the crowd chanting “AJ Styles,” that is a new one for an opponent to do. McMahon said AJ didn’t have a match at Mania so he made his own opportunity. Yeah, AJ made this decision to face Shane McMahon at Mania.
Shane said if AJ doesn’t bring his A-game, then it’ll be McMahon’s hand being raised at WrestleMania. Both guys signed their contract, but after AJ Styles made sure Shane knew what kind of match they were having: a traditional match.
The Phenomenal One said Shane is entering the world of AJ Styles when he steps in the ring and he will embarrass him on every level. AJ said Shane has never been in the ring with someone like him before, and that is a correct statement.
After they signed the contract, AJ threw the table aside and they got in each other’s faces. Daniel Bryan had to step in and break them up. Daniel suggested they shake hands to confirm their match. Shane extended his hand, but AJ walked away. What a heel… too bad people are still going to cheer for him.
AJ Styles walked up the ramp talking trash as his music played.
Becky Lynch vs. Carmella
Becky Lynch is out and the crowd was very behind her. Alexa Bliss and Mickie James were in the announce booth. For some reason, James Ellsworth came out to introduce Carmella because that’s what they’re doing now.
Ellsworth called himself a handsome physical specimen and the crowd didn’t like that at all. He did a great job of making the crowd not react to her at all. That really is sad because Carmella is so much better than that. But for some reason, the fans just don’t care. We blame the Chinless Wonder.
Carmella took her gum out and put it in Jame Ellsworth’s mouth. That was classy.
As Becky Lynch and Carmella fought on, Mickie James and Alexa Bliss took over the commentary booth. Alexa said the last time Mickie won a big match was 10 years ago. Let’s hope Mickie James doesn’t do something else at WrestleMania that has to get censored out.
Alexa and Mickie ended up taking their headsets off and fighting each other. The referee ended up calling for the bell once the action spilled into the ring.
Mickie James and Becky Lynch ended up standing face-to-face and James pointed at the WrestleMania logo hanging from the rafters.
Alexa Bliss and Carmella vs. Becky Lynch and Mickie James
Now this is a tag match thanks to Daniel Bryan. JBL said Bryan was doing his best Teddy Long by making a tag match and he stole my joke there.
Carmella got in Mickie James’ face and spouted off some real Staten Island attitude, but she got kicked in the stomach for her efforts. Carmella turned it around on James with the assist from Bliss. The veteran Mickie James took some punishment from the heels for a bit until Natalya’s music hit.
Everyone looked very confused why Nattie was joining the match. But, five is a party. Nattie just joined the commentary booth for the match and brought her wonderful charm to the commentary.
Mickie and Alexa were still in the ring, but Lynch got the tag at the same time as Carmella and started running a clinic on her. She hit her with her running Fire Arm and Natalya jumped in the ring.
Carmella rolled Becky up in a pin and got the win for the heel team. Then it went down as Naomi’s music hit and she came down to kick some ass. Naomi ran down and took all of the heels out, grabbed the microphone, and lcut a smiling promo on the crowd.
She said she’s “back baby” and she entered the SmackDown Women’s Title match at the WrestleMania kickoff show. The blacklights came on and The Glow danced in the ring. Looks like we’ll have a new reason to watch the kickoff show now because Naomi’s going for the gold again.
Tyler Breeze showed up dressed as Nikki Bella and Daniel Bryan said him and Fandango are going to be in a match later to determine who will represent SmackDown in the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
Miz Is Awesome, Just Awesome
The Miz and Maryse came out to prove why they’re the A-list couple once again. The ring was dressed up with a black carpet and two chairs. Miz introduced another fantastic edition of Total Bella Bulls—. They should just do this every week on E! It would do so much better in the ratings.
God, this was the best acting The Miz has ever done. The Miz came in dressed as Daniel Bryan, only he was on his knees. Maryse played Brie and argued with herself about not being married.
I just can’t describe how amazing this segment was. Why isn’t this a real weekly show? “Nikki” ended up getting on her knee and proposing to “John.”
They keep going for that marriage card, really makes us wonder if John Cena is going to propose at WrestleMania.
The Miz and Maryse looked so proud of themselves, and they should be.
“Nikki” asked “John” if he’s going to marry her and he said, “I do not.” He said he doesn’t want to damage his brand. He said his motto is Never Give Up because he doesn’t want to give up his spot and that Miz is going to beat him at Mania and take his spot. “John” said he doesn’t love “Nikki” and he will just sweep her into the gutter when he’s done with her.
Then they ruined the illusion and took off the wig, Cena shirt and hat and cut a real promo against them. Maryse said she hoped Nikki enjoyed the Kids’ Choice Awards because it’s the closest she’s ever gonna get to having kids with Cena — ouch. It was just a great promo.
Then John Cena’s music hit and he came down for real alongside Nikki Bella. They looked like a legit couple and Nikki was eating up every second of it.
Miz said he’s surprised it took that long for them to interrupt them. John said he was backstage laughing with everyone else. “But then the jokes were over,” and that’s what Cena had a problem with.
John Cena cut a pretty neat promo against Maryse and said they didn’t ask Maryse to come back because they didn’t want her back because she didn’t do jack the last time she was with the company. Ouch.
John Cena asked Miz if he was high and said he’s a company man. He’s doing a movie and he’ll be back. He listed a ton of superstars who have done the same thing and concluded it with Miz. Cena then insulted Miz’s Marine movies, that’ll sell some DVDs.
John then turned to Maryse again and said she still wondered why she was there. She shows up every week, steals a paycheck, and is a waste of space. John then said Miz is using her to be on Total Divas.
John pointed out Miz and Maryse have been married for years and don’t have any kids. Then he asked Miz “you firing blanks there, sport?” and he tapped Miz in the ween! Wow…
The entire time John Cena unleashed on Mike and Maryse, Nikki just stood back and nodded her head like, “yup, what he said.” Cena was sure showing some Ruthless Aggression on the microphone. Especially when he called Miz a p—-. Yeah, they had to bleep that one out.
Some of the stuff John Cena said about Maryse seemed a lot like a shoot. He said if she steps to him, Nikki will knock the botox out of her cheeks. Miz and Maryse left without it coming to blows. Miz wanted to go back in and fight Cena, but Maryse convinced him to just leave instead.
“Firing blanks, maybe there’s nothing to fire with,” John Cena said as they walked up the ramp. Nikki finally grabbed the mic and said Miz and Maryse are just some “fake ass jealous haters.”
That certainly makes us more interested in that mixed tag match at WrestleMania 33.
American Alpha, Slater and Rhyno, and Mojo Rawley vs. The Usos, Breezango, and Dolph Ziggler
Jason Jordan took some offense to Dolph before tagging off to Chad Gable. There were rumors American Alpha vs. The Usos would be added to the WrestleMania card with the SmackDown Tag Team Championships on the line. But since they’re in this 10-man tag match with the Andre The Giant Battle Royal as the theme, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. So, the SmackDown Tag Team Titles are the only WWE Championship not defended at Mania. Hmmm…
This was a typical 10-man tag match. Each guy got their shots in. It’s just a shame none of these guys could get a bigger spot on the card at WrestleMania. Especially guys like Tyler Breeze or Fandango. Both of them are great. If you need proof of how their talents are being underutilized, just watch Southpaw Regional Wrestling.
Mojo Rawley ended up getting the hot tag and he took a few people out by throwing them over the top rope. But, Mojo couldn’t get the pinfall. In the closing moments, Rhyno hit The Gore on Dolph and it was sweet. Can we agree that The Gore is much better than any spear?
Mojo ended up getting the pinfall over Tyler Breeze and they played Mojo’s music to close out the segment.
Luke Harper cut a promo on a lightbulb. He called Bray out and said he is free now. He’s also sporting his new black tank top. Or maybe it’s the same tank top, it just that he never washed the old one so it’s now totally black? He said if he were Bray, he would “run.”
Bray Wyatt vs. Luke Harper
It’s time for the SmackDown main event and that meant it was time for the Wyatt Family civil war to continue. Randy Orton hadn’t been seen all night, so the lack of presence from The Viper was certainly noticed and his involvement was expected.
The fireflies were out in full force and Bray Wyatt had the whole world in his hands.
Bray took it to Harper quickly and smashed him with a cross body block. Luke Harper replied with an amazing dropkick from such a big guy. Luke Harper really is the second coming of Bruiser Brody and it’s a shame he’s not booked for a real match at WrestleMania.
Bray took control of the match until Luke Harper reversed a move attempt with a spinning side slam. Bray hit a senton on Harper and got a two-count.
Bray did his creepy upside down deal at the corner and Harper grabbed Bray to set him up for a Sister Abigail. I would like to see that happen someday.
Bray slithered out and got outside, but Harper hit him with two diving moves and followed it with another senton off the apron onto Bray once he crawled back in the ring. Harper hit Bray with a huge big boot… a huge boot, but he only got a two-count.
Luke hit the Discus Clothesline, but Bray grabbed the bottom rope to break up the pinfall. There was a lot of facial hair in the ring, that’s for sure.
Finally, Bray caught Luke Harper off guard with a Sister Abigail and picked up the win. Bray Wyatt’s music played while he sat in the middle of the ring. The lights went down and he posed with his well-deserved title.
Then Randy Orton came on the screen and reminded him how he “burnt down Abigail’s vessel.” He cut a neat little creepy promo on The Eater Of Worlds. As amazing as Randy Orton might be, it’s just not doing it for me. He stabbed the ground and said he was stabbing Abigail in the heart, and the show ended with a viper striking at the camera.
So, that was the go-home SmackDown.
We’ll see you next time for NXT TakeOver: Orlando! But don’t forget to keep checking back at Still Real To Us on the regular for the best news in the ring and behind the scenes!
— WWE (@WWE) March 29, 2017