Let’s Break Down WWE Fastlane

This Sunday is WWE Fastlane, which means we’re on the “fast lane on the Road to Wrestlemania.” Get it? It might be a cute name for a pay-per-view, but it looks to be a serious card. The Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin will be the building where a lot of exciting action will take place.

Related: Kevin Owens Owns Goldberg Once Again, Jim Ross Shares Workout Pic

Sunday when Fastlane airs live on the WWE Network every Raw championship will be on the line and Goldberg will also be wrestling his second singles match since he returned to the ring in November of 2016. Who will walk out with the belts? That’s what we’re here to talk about, so let’s get to it.

Rich Swann & Akira Towaza vs. The Brian Kendrick & Noam Dar 

Is it a bad thing that we could take or leave this match? Every one of these guys are talented and deserve much better but it’s just not interesting from the way WWE has set this match up. The faces will probably win because that’s what happens although Kendrick and Dar are due for a victory too. It’s really a toss-up because we’re all like, “meh” on this one.

Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

Samoa Joe will win and Sami Zayn will sell like Shawn Michaels. Samoa Joe needs to go over in his first pay-per-view match, obviously. He’s being marketed as a destroyer and a heavy hitter for Triple H, therefore it doesn’t make sense for him to do anything but win this. Expect an amazing match though because these two have been locking up at house shows and people in attendance have unanimously said it was the match of the night, as it should be. It also might be the longest match at Fastlane too because the main event can’t go very long at all (but we’ll get into that later).

Bayley vs. Charlotte (Raw Women’s Championship Match)

Bayley very well could get a win here, but it won’t be a clean one. Sasha might turn heel and cause a DQ, or there could be a count out situation. It might make sense to turn Sasha heel so Bayley can face three baddies at WrestleMania all vying to humble the hugger.

Either way, Charlotte probably isn’t losing her pay-per-view winning streak and Bayley’s most likely going to walk into Mania with that belt. Fastlane is a transitional event and this match-up will serve to set up a future match at WrestleMania for the Raw Women’s Championship between The Hugger, The Nature Girl, The Boss, and The Girl Who Isn’t Like Most Girls. Bayley will probably retain at Mania but she won’t be pinning Charlotte and that’s the genius part of keeping Charlotte’s streak alive by booking her in a multiple person match where she doesn’t have to be pinned to lose. Expect to be entertained though by this match, obviously.

The Club vs. Enzo and Big Cass (Raw Tag Team Championship Match)

This one has us debating on how it should go. It would make sense for either of these teams to win but it all depends on which one you’re a mark for. Enzo and Cass have stated they need the win, and we all know The Club deserves it. It’s all about who WWE wants to have walk into WrestleMania 33 with those belts. My gut is saying The Club will retain with Enzo and Cass getting a WrestleMania moment where they take the titles in the Mania kick-off show (probably). However, they popped early for Bayley’s title win so nothing is off the table.

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

This Danielle and Goliath story has been on-going for quite some time now, and there are no real signs of it slowing down. These two ladies are slated to face off in Orlando in a fatal-four-way for the Raw Women’s Championship, so whatever happens here won’t be the end of anything. Like we said, Fastlane is a transitional event and this match is going to reflect that. Jax needs to win though in order to cement the fact she’s unbeatable so it’ll look extra cool when Bayley defeats her at Mania.

Neville vs. Jack Gallagher (Cruiserweight Championship Match)

The entire time this match is going on the only thing that will be running through our minds is “When will Austin Aries put that headset down and get involved?” It’ll happen and it should. Neville is a great champion and Gallagher is a fine challenger, but it’s not Gentleman Jack’s time yet.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

This is probably the most interesting match on the card to be honest because it has to be booked very carefully. WWE can’t afford to have Strowman lose just to sacrifice all that work they’ve put into his character in order to lay down for a clean loss because of a couple Superman punches and a spear. If that happens, we’ll be pissed and you’ll hear all about it. Roman can’t really lose either, it would be great if he did, but he probably wont… unless The Undertaker has something to do with it. Expect this match to end with some kind of schmoz regardless of outcome.

Kevin Owens vs. Goldberg (Universal Title Match)

Alright, here it goes but we’re warning you if you are a Goldberg fans stop reading now. You gone? Anyone who has ever chanted “Gooooooldbeeeerg” seriously, click the “back” button.

Okay, now that it’s just us. KEVIN OWENS SHOULD WIN THIS MATCH! The sad part is this match will probably be the shortest match of the night and Goldberg will win the Universal Title. Let me rephrase that, it will undoubtedly be the shortest match of the night and Goldberg will squash KO, unless Owens cuts a ten-minute promo after the bell rings.

The match can’t go long or else Goldberg will expose himself as well, not a wrestler. He’s a big dude who headbutts doors, breathes in sparkler smoke, and kicks in mid-air. And, he doesn’t even headbutt doors anymore. We miss that part, really.

We’re not going to say Goldberg will lose this one, because Jesus, what other option do they have? Goldberg and Lesnar will most likely go on to main event WrestleMania 33 because all reports have alluded to that fact. As stated before, Fastlane is a transitional event so they will probably transition Goldberg into the championship position even though he doesn’t need to be there. If you don’t like it, tweet at us because we’d love to hear your opinion. The only thing that could save the match’s finish is if Owens gets screwed over by Jericho to lose the title, which is likely to be honest.