Times surely have to be tough for the three Superstars who found out last Monday that their services will no longer be needed. Ryback, Dolph Ziggler and Erick Rowan were unceremoniously fired from the one thing they’ve worked their whole lives to become. It’s a depressing and stressful time in a mans life when he finds himself out of work but fear not for Still Real To Us is on the case. We figured out the best options that will highlight each former Superstars strengths.
RYBACK: TASTE TESTER
Ryback is well known for his gluttonous appetite and his deep belly howls of “FEED ME MORE!” What better job than one where he can “FEED” all day long and also put some bread in his pocket. The average salary for a Taste Tester is $88,000 a year but with Ryback’s constant paining for food, he wouldn’t need any time to let his stomach settle which in turn could triple his salary. It may not equal the money he was pulling in as a WWE Superstar but he wouldn’t go hungry.
DOLPH ZIGGLER – Male Gigolo
The best way for Dolph Ziggler to keep making money would be for him to let all his female Zigglet fans get a little closer to the Show Off. Think Duece Bigalow except probably more appealing to females. Ziggler could still use some of his wrestling moves as well just to keep himself fresh. I’m sure many of the females would pay a little extra to get hit with a different kind of fameASSer.
ERICK ROWAN – SHEEP HERDER
Erick Rowan would seem to be someone you wouldn’t want to leave alone with a bunch of helpless animals but we beg to differ. His sheer mass would come in handy to herd acres of sheep. Just picture him frolicking around and navigating these harmless creatures to their new homes. Not exactly sure about the pay, considering it’s a job mostly for cattle dogs but Rowan seems like he could care less about making money anyway. Rowan would most likely work for free, just so he can get close enough to some of his fellow smelly mammals. Seriously though, you should probably keep an eye on him being alone with the animals.
