Getting together and choke-slamming some dead animal protein onto a grill with friends and family is a hell of a way to spend a day. If you’re hosting the event, you usually try and only invite people that you enjoy being around but as we all know that’s not always how it ends up. Someone usually brings a third party whom you haven’t approved of or your wife invites over that one guy you can’t stand. Beer gets flowing, tempers flare and before you know it, you’re hitting a phenomenal forearm on the person that’s trying to harsh your mellow. So in order to avoid these situations, lets take a look at a four WWE Superstars that you should avoid throwing a Facebook invite to for your next BBQ.
The New Day
The New Day count as one superstar because if you invite one, you know for a fact the other two will follow. On the face of this, they seem like 3 dudes that you totally wanna get down with but hear me out. When your go to meal of choice is Booty-O’s, you know for a fact they aren’t bringing over any meat party favors. Food aside, the company they would be offering would lose its luster quite fast. Xavier Woods annoyingly playing the trombone for three straight hours would make even Helen Keller’s ears bleed. Big E’s magical hip thrusts would for sure mesmerize all the females at your party, which would leave you with old 5 finger reliable to bop your bishop before you go to sleep. Kofi is the exception here. He seems like someone that would be very polite and possibly even stay to clean up after.
Baron Corbin
Baron Corbin would be someone that you may want to leave off the text chain for this BBQ as well. Just picture this, you’re flipping the steaks and out of the corner of your eye you see Corbin standing in your own backyard, arms crossed and staring a hole through you. Just the tension alone would be enough to bring down any good vibes your shindig was providing. If his steak wasn’t cook to his absolute liking, he wouldn’t just be grateful you were trying to give the man a free meal. Corbin would most likely lash out and hit you in the yam bag while your back was turned. Before you know it, end of days would be upon you and nobody should get beat up while wearing a “Kiss The Cook” apron.
John Cena
AND HIS NAME IS…JOHHHHN CENNNNA! You just simply wouldn’t have enough food for everyone else at the party. Cena is a man who loves excess. 15 cheeseburgers later, Cena would say “I need 5 minutes to digest.” Then like a goddamn T-1000 he would be completely rejuvenated in less than 2 minutes, hungrier than before and his eyes would be dead-set on cheeseburger number 16. When the BBQ was finally over and you thought everyone had left, like a viral Cena meme- his giant lego shaped head pops in on you while you’re in the shower. You just can’t get rid of the man and nobody likes a guest that overstays their welcome.
Chris Jericho
Hopefully for your sake you don’t have a garden. Chris Jericho will not hesitate to up root your zucchini plant and bash it over your unsuspecting skull. Have any musical equipment lying around? Well not anymore because Jericho is the kind of guest who will have no problem breaking your personal belongings. If you leave your station at the grill and attempt to confront the first ever Undisputed Champ, you more than likely will be berated with grade school insults like “You Stupid Idiot!” and “You’re a Stupid Man!” Name calling is usually the way most backyard brawls start but if you try and take on Jericho you may have bitten off more than you can chew. In case you haven’t heard, Jericho does DDP Yoga. So he is in top physical conditioning and has never been one to shy away from a shoot fight. The other downside is you really can’t show your face to your friends again if you get your ass whooped by a a dude wearing a vest with no shirt, bedazzled underwear and a scarf.
