WWE Superstars are often known for their amazing work schedule. On the road for most of the year, it’s quite amazing that some superstars find the time to have a life. However, they aren’t always on the road and I’d like to tell you which superstars you’d want to avoid having as neighbors.

 

 3 MAN BAND

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I would imagine it would be amazing to live next to one WWE Superstar but 3 would be legendary. Maybe throw back some beers while listening to some of their tales from the road. Think about how awesome your summer parties would be with 3MB entertaining your guests with their total awesomeness? The guys in 3MB would eventually turn annoying and become too over the top to have as neighbors. Imagine trying to sleep and they are rehearsing at 2 in the morning for their next gig. I don’t think I would be able to sleep when Heath Slater is trying to hit a falsetto after midnight. Imagine Drew McIntyre getting too hammered and knocking on your door in the middle of the night. He would be sobbing about how he was once the chosen one and looking for you to comfort him. This all sounds awesome but imagine this for a steady couple of years, one could see how this would get old.

 

 The Wyatt Family

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Picture this, trash thrown all about the uncut grass that’s growing through the 15 junk cars in their front yard. Dead animals hanging from trees and droves of weird people flocking to follow the buzzards. Not only would their yard be an eye sore but imagine having a block party? That lunatic Bray Wyatt would totally cock block you with a 45 minute conversation about how you really don’t want to try and plug that female because “you will enter a man but leave a monster!” He’d try and brainwash your girlfriend or boyfriend to join his following. What about if you were to get home late one night and it was dark and rainy. You get out of the car and you see Erick Rowan standing there with his mask on. I’d mess my pants right there, no doubt about it. How about one glorious summer morning you come out to sit on your porch and enjoy your morning cup of coffee. You look to the side and you see Luke Harper eating a squirrel. I’m sure he’d be kind enough to offer you a bite but no thanks.  I follow the buzzards…I just wouldn’t want to follow them back to my neighborhood.

 

 Dolph Ziggler

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Dolph Ziggler seems like a pretty cool dude. Seems like the kind of guy you could totally get along with. The only problem here is if your wife, girlfriend or mother was to come by. Just picture Dolph outside mowing his lawn shirtless or washing his car in the summer. The ladies in your life would have no choice but to drool all over themselves. Ziggler would be showing off when he’s working out in his garage with the door wide open and your female counterpart would just so happen to be bringing him a house warming gift. You don’t need to use too much of your imagination to see where this little meet and greet would end up. He’d probably invite her in for a little wine and stand up comedy. Then when he realizes you’re not around…BAM! Your chick just got Zig Zagged.

 

 Triple H

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Ok the positives here are if you live somewhere that you need snow removal, your neighbor is a master with a shovel. He’d be out there in the middle of the storm just shoveling away. Another positive is if you are tearing up your driveway, your neighbor is pretty handy with a sledgehammer. He’d help you without even asking for any type of repayment. Ok, now the negatives. You know while he’s hammering away at your driveway that he’d break a sweat. You being the nice neighbor you are, you’d offer him a bottle of water. HHH will take a sip and then promptly spit it in your face. It gets worse if you want to have a nice looking landscaped lawn. Think about your beautiful backyard with its green grass. Now, imagine when he fills his whole backyard and needs to start using yours for his burials. He would constantly be digging up your fresh grass and flowers, then proceed to packing his plots with the remains of a once regal lawn. His burials happen at such a fast rate that your back yard will be a constant pit of dirt. One day when you build up enough anger, you’ll confront your shovel wielding neighbor. When you’re done telling him everything that’s bothering you, he will then go into a 20 minute long boring spiel about how he can do whatever he wants because he owns everything. Then when you get fed up and go to throw a punch, he kicks you in the gut and pedigrees you into a new freshly buried plot. Best way to beat the Game is to not play.

1 COMMENT

  1. I absolutely love this article. My favorite thing has to be that you wouldn’t want to live next door to Dolph Ziggler just because he’s too good looking.

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