What If You Had WWE Superstars For Relatives?

Ever wonder what it would be like to have a WWE superstar as a relative? I bet at first glance it would sound like something you would be more than okay with, but let me tell you why it would bad news. Here’s a list of WWE superstars that you would not want as relatives.

OLDER BROTHER JOHN CENA: Imagine having John Cena as your older brother. In the playground nobody would give you any grief because they would all know your older bro stands about 6’2 and around 250 pounds of pure muscle. That’s the upside, now for the downside. John Cena is an all around good guy. He never does anything wrong. He’s a 15 time world champ. He’s an actor. He’s a rapper. He’s granted more wishes than anyone in the history of the Make a Wish Foundation. He’s at the absolute top of of the wrestling food chain. He’s a millionaire. He’s your parent’s favorite child. You wouldn’t be able to even come close to being as perfect as he is. Your dad would just look at you and think to himself “Where did I go wrong? John came out great but this one…this one just isn’t quite as good.” You would live your whole life constantly trying to battle your way out of his enormous golden shadow. You would grow to despise him. You probably started out chanting “Lets go Cena!” but you would eventually turn to the darkside along with half of the WWE audience and start chanting “CENA SUCKS!”

UNCLE STONE COLD: 

Stone Cold Steve Austin would most likely be your dad’s brother. He just strikes me as the type of guy that your mother would hate having over for family gatherings but she would still have to invite due to your father’s persistence. At first glance having a drunk uncle Stone Cold would seem like a lot of fun. You would keep feeding him beers and laughing at his ridiculous antics, like dropping your dad with a stunner or driving his pick-up truck into the side of your house. Eventually the act would grow immensely tiresome. He would cause friction between your parents because your mom wouldn’t want him around you because he’s a bad influence but your dad would say “He’s my brother, I can’t not have him over.” Eventually your mom would call uncle Stone Cold out on his drunken antics. Stone Cold would try and call a truce, hand her a beer and in true Stone Cold fashion he would drop her mom jeans wearing ass with a Stone Cold Stunner. In conclusion, having Stone Cold as your uncle would cause a divorce and a whole lot of damage to your house.

DEAD-BEAT TAKER:

Having The Undertaker as your father would totally have its benefits. You would always feel safe in the dark. You would learn to ride a motorcycle probably before you could walk. Your uncle would be Kane and you would have plenty of awesome druids to do your chores. Now for the negatives. There is really only one. Undertaker will only show up once a year. You may get a birthday card here and there saying how he misses you and all that jazz (or a gong here and there) but like most dead-beat dads he wouldn’t be around for most of the year. You would hear stories from people about how great and legendary your dad was but deep down you would hold a grudge. That one day that he does show up, you would remember how legendary he is because he would try to cram a bunch of WrestleMania moments into one day. Then once that day is over, you’ll go back to hearing talk about how much you mean to him despite the fact that he can’t see you. It’s not you it’s him.

GRANDPA HEYMAN:

Having Paul Heyman as your granddaddy would be quite interesting. He would constantly be telling you how extreme and hardcore his old neighborhood was. He’d always get a little sauced up and tell grandiose stories about how back in the day his client Brock Lesnar conquered The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania. You’d hear stories about how his friend Cesaro became the king of swing. He’d talk so much that you would never get a word in edge wise. Luckily he is a great storyteller but even the best storyteller gets annoying when their mouth never closes.

STEPDAD SCUMBAG DEAN AMBROSE

Women love bad boys, so what would make your mom any different? Stepdads are never all around nice guys. Ambrose as your stepdad would make a lot of sense. He’s constantly hitting on your mom in front of you and making you feel uncomfortable when he is always mastering her fun bags. You’d try and sneak out at night to go to the club but to your surprise Ambrose would be in the same club and he’d be leaving with all the girls you were eye banging but couldn’t muster up the courage to talk to. Then when you’d tell your mom what you saw, Dean would walk in with his two buddies and triple power bomb you through the kitchen table.