TNA Impact Wrestling Results 12/12/2013

TNA Impact Wrestling Results 12/12/2013

We look back at last week when Dixie Carter mistakenly believed she was getting the TNA World Title belt back, only to be tricked by AJ Styles, who dared her to come to Gainesville, Georgia to get it back. We then see Rockstar Spud, who is on the phone with Dixie and telling her that he’s just getting to Gainesville and will let her know what happens.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring to tell us the rules of tonight’s Feast Or Fired Challenge, but Kurt Angle comes out, tells JB to beat it, trashes the set, and tells Bobby Roode to get out there so they can finish this once and for all. Bobby Roode comes out and says he’s pissed that he got eliminated from the tournament by slipping and falling through a table, but Angle has been losing since he turned down the Hall of Fame induction, and Roode has not only beaten him physically, but mentally as well. He has a message for Angle: he owns him. Angle disagrees, saying he can beat Roode twice in one night, then they end up brawling around ringside and into the ring. Angle gets the better of Roode, but the usual cavalcade of cronies come out to separate them. They keep breaking free and going back after each other, but Roode finally scores with a kick to the ding ding to put Angle down. What a heel. He gets in Angle’s face and says that if Angle thinks he can beat him twice in one night, he’d like to see him try, so he challenges Angle to a two out of three falls match next week at Final Resolution.

We see a video package looking at last week when Bad Influence revealed the truth about Joseph Park’s law firm goign out of business years ago, and Park seeming really afraid of explaining what he’s been doing for the last thirteen years. We go backstage where Park is telling Eric Young that he’s not sure he’s ready for this, but Eric tells him that this is his chance to show him and everyone else what’s inside of him. Eric Young says he has a plan and to trust him. Yeah, Jake Roberts said the same thing to the Ultimate Warrior in 1991, and we all know what happened there! Well, at least those of us who were born before 1991 do.

Bad Influence vs Eric Young & Joseph Park

Young and Daniels start us off and Young comes out on top of a fast back and forth sequence with a flying forearm. He tags Park in, and Park quickly winds up in trouble after getting gouged in the eyes and taken to the corner. Park escapes the onslaught of Daniels and tags Young in to save him, and Young gives Kazarian the biggest backdrop I’ve seen in months. Park comes in and goes for a vertical suplex, but Kazarian blocks and nails Park with a dropkick before dragging him back to the Bad Influence corner for a series of double teams. Park gets smacked around for a bit, but Young comes in and cleans house, then tells Park to come on, and he starts smacking Park around, gets him in a headlock, and drills him in the forehead until he busts him open. Park asks what he’s doing, but Young wipes the blood off Park’s head and shows it to him, and Park Abysses up and destroys both members of Bad Influence by homself, chokeslamming Daniels and giving him Shock Treatment before hitting the Black Hole Slam on Kazarian for the win.

Winners: Eric Young & Joseph Park

Park snaps out of it after getting his hand raised, and Young gets the microphone and says that got crazy, but 18 months ago he started looking for his brother Abyss. Young says he knows why he hasn’t been able to find his brother, and it’s because he is Abyss. Young drops the mic, pats Park on the shoulder, and walks off as the fans chant “YOU ARE ABYSS!” at Park.

Time for Impact365, and Ethan Carter III talks about his conditioning while getting a massage. He did what he had to do by taking out a Hall of Famer, and tonight he’s not going to just have a moment, but a moment that’ll make social media explode.

Ethan Carter III comes out to the ring and tells referee Brian Hebner not to worry because he’s safe today, and the fans chant at him to shut his mouth. He says that after giving Earl Hebner the shining moment of his career, he’d try something a little different tonight with an opponent who will blow social media up. His opponent tonight: TNA’s social media guru, Jeremy Borash! Borash doesn’t want to do it, but Ethan says he’s a Carter and to get in the ring now. Sting’s music hits and the Icon himself comes out to have a word with young Ethan. He says he can’t believe he’s standing in the ring with such greatness, and asks to shake Ethan’s hand. He says that Ethan is like a skyrocket because he’s shooting up to the sky, and he wants to get his finger in his belt loop and just hang on. Sting says he’s a shooting star who has done absolutely nothing in this business, and he thinks he can have everything fed to him on a silver spoon and have fancy vignettes made up for him because of his last name, or get doors opened for him that should never have been opened, but later tonight there’s a big match with briefcases where people will put their lives on the line, take risks and take chances, and it’s called Feast or Fired. Sting says it’s time for Ethen to do something real and enter himself into Feast or Fired tonight. Carter doesn’t look into that idea, so Sting gives him another option and says that instead, he can just fight Sting right now. The fans are really into that, but Carter gets in Sting’s face and says that the icon Sting wants him to do something memorable. He says that Sting is on and circles Sting as if he’s going to fight him, but he says that he’s going to compete in Feast or Fired. He drops the mic and walks off with a smirk on his face as Sting stands in the ring shaking his head.

We go back to Rockstar Spud as he pulls up to something called a petrol station, and he asks the guy who is closing up for directions. Spud asks him if he knows a guy named AJ Styles, and the poor kid is trying to wrap up and get out of there, but Spud says he’s British and he’s lost in Georgia, so the guy finally relents and tells him that he knows that AJ’s friends usually hang out at a bar a mile or so down the road. Oh, that doesn’t sound like a good idea, but Spud is off like a shot.

Gail Kim is in the ring with Lei’D Tapa for another week of the Gail Kim Challenge. She can’t wait to see who the next challenger is going to be and tells her to come out, but ODB’s music hits and she comes out with flask in hand. Gail says ODB must not have heard that she wants better competition, and she’s beaten ODB over and over again. ODB says Gail doesn’t get it because she’s not out here to kick her butt, she’s here to kick Tapa’s. ODB goes after Tapa, nails Gail when she tries to interfere, and goes back after Tapa. ODB gets her up for a slam, but Gail clips ODB’s knee before she can finish the move and they double team her. Suddenly, a black clad redhead comes running out and goes after Gail, then she flips her hair back and we see that it is the return of Madison Rayne! Rayne and ODB take Gail and Tapa out before Madison does her trademark wave.

Back to Rockstar Spud, who is in “an American pub” where he has trouble trying to get the bartender’s attention. He asks if she knows where Aaron Jones is (I don’t think most of TNA’s audience knows that’s AJ Styles’ real name, so it was probably lost on a lot of people), and she says she serves drinks, not information. He flips a couple of bucks on the bar and asks for a ladyboy chaser, then describes how to make it when she doesn’t know. She hands him a beer with a slice of lemon and walks off as he says this isn’t what they look like in the United Kingdom.

We come back from commercial and Spud is up on the stage at the bar using the mic to ask is anyone knows Allen Jones, and finally says they might know him as AJ Styles. The band’s singer says that mic is for singing, and Spud says he is a rockstar, so he sings a song about God saving the Queen if we know what he means, and ends up getting kicked out.

We see a video package hyping tonight’s Feast or Fired match, then we go to Gunner apologizing to James Storm for what happened last week. Storm says there have been a bunch of incidents between them, but they have a chance to make it right tonight in the Feast or Fired match by potentially getting all the gold. Gunner says one of them could end up getting fired, but Storm says he knows how the saying goes: sorry ’bout your damn luck. Storm walks off, so Gunner stares after him and goes “…okay.”

Rockstar Spud pulls up near AJ Styles’ house and gets out of his rental car, and as he closes in on AJ, we go to the ring as Dixie Carter makes her way to the ring to talk about how Kurt Angle destroyed the Wheel of Dixie earlier tonight. If Kurt Angle wants redemption, they get what they want and they’ll face off in a two out of three falls match. Still, her bigger headache tonight remains AJ Styles, who has made a mockery of her and her TNA World Title. She didn’t appreciate the toy belt, but next week, she’ll get a new World Champion, a real World Champion, and HER World Champion, and right now, she’d like to bring out the two men fighting for that special honor next week.

Brutus Magnus and Jeff Hardy come out and she says either one of them would make a fine champion, and she wants to know if they have any final words for each other. Hardy says he won the Bound For Glory Series and then went on to win the TNA World Title, but 2013 hasn’t quite lived up to that. But next week, he and the Creatures are going to win the World Title again, he starts chanting his own last name and all the little fangirls in the audience chant along. Magnus says that he might be the youngest guy in the tournament, but he’s not dumb, deaf, or stupid. He knows these are his people, and he earned it for being a top guy in the business. He thanks Hardy for putting food on his table, but next week, Hardy won’t be anything to him but the final obstacle. If he wants to be the #1 guy in the industry, he has to beat the #1 guy, and he sees Hardy as the #1 guy, and that means he has to beat Hardy and he has every intention of doing that. They shake hands as the fans chant that Magnus can’t beat him, and Dixie says the Wheel of Dixie was destroyed, but there was only one match left on the wheel, and that’s the match they’re facing off in next week: Dixieland.

We go to a video package showing us that the Dixieland match begins in a steel cage, then once they hit the floor, they have to get a ladder from the top of the ramp, bring it back to the ring, and climb it to get the belt. Hey, is Russo back? Dixie gushes about how great the match is going to be, but the winner will travel the world with her on her private jet, and it won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it. They both have the opportunity to join her in her VIP lounge with her favorite bottle of…I dunno, some kind of wine, and if either of them are smart, they’ll take her up on it.

Chris Sabin comes up to Velvet Sky and talks about how great he looks tonight, and makes sure she’s got his back against Austin Aries tonight. She says she does, and he asks if she did something with her hair before heading off to the ring.

Back to Rockstar Spud, who is sneaking around the back of AJ Styles’ house and breaks in with the credit card in the door trick. Nobody seems to be home as he sneaks around wondering where AJ would put the belt. He sits in the couch and puts his feet up on the table, and realizes he put them right on the belt. AJ comes downstairs and asks if Spud thought he could come to his town and throw his name around without AJ getting a phone call? He knew he was coming and left the door open, but they can handle this one of two ways: they can call the cops, of they can call some of his friends. Spud tries to leave with the belt, but AJ says that he believes the belt is his and intimidates Spud into running for his life, slamming the door shut behind him as he leaves.

X Division Title Match: Chris Sabin vs Austin Aries

They do a quick back and forth sequence to start off, but Sabin bails after failing to gt an advantage. Aries dodges a charge by sliding out to the floor and acts like he’s going to hit on Velvet, Sabin comes over to stop him, but Aries slips back into the ring and baseball slides Sabin. Sabin nails Aries and slams his face into the ring apron, but Aries snaps Sabin’s neck down on the top rope when he goes back into the ring. Aries goes for a missile dropkick and Sabin sidesteps, then gets an awesome tilt-a-whirl chestbreaker for a series of 2 counts. That was a great move! Sabin gets an abdomindal stretch and waves at Velvet Sky at ringside, then picks Aries up for a suplex but drops him gut first on the top rope. Sabin covers for 2 and then goes for another drop onto the top rope, but Aries reverses and gets one of his own, knocking Sabin to the ring apron. Aries nails Sabin with multiple shots and Sabin won’t go to the floor, so Aries hits a roaring elbow to finally drive Sabin to the floor and then comes off the top rope with a double axhandle. Areis hits the missile dropkick on the second attempt and then goes for the IED, but Sabin gets the boot up and then goes for a tornado DDT, Aries shoves him off, then gives him a Jap whizzer into the corner. Aries hits the IED on the second attempt and goes after Sabin, but Sabin grabs onto Velvet’s arm. Aries turns his attention to Velvet but dodges a charge from Sabin, and Sabin nearly collides with Velvet, but stops short. It was still enough of a distraction for Aries to hit Sabin with the brainbuster and pin Sabin to regain the X Division Title.

Winner and NEW X Division Champion: Austin Aries

Velvet looks mortified that she could have just caused that, and desperately apologizes to Sabin as she leads him to the back.

We come back from commercial and Chris Sabin gets in Aries’ face and says he can’t believe that he would use his sunflower to win his X Division Title, but he’s not going to let it bother him because he’s going to enter Feast or Fired where he could win a rematch with Aries, or could bypass him completely and win the TNA World Title. Aries says he’s going to steal his idea and enter Feast or Fired as well, and Sabin asks if he’s going to steal his girl next, and Aries tells him to keep giving him good idea.

Magnus is backstage saying he has no idea what to expect in the Dixieland match, but before he can finish that thought, he gets a call he has to take and asks the cameraman to beat it.

We see a video package looking at the last week or so of the Angle-Roode feud leading into next week’s two out of three falls match at Final Resolution. Also next week, the finals of the World Title tournament, and ODB & Madison Rayne take on Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa.

It’s main event time! Wait a minute, no it isn’t! Ken Anderson comes out and cuts a promo about wanting gold now that he’s destroyed Aces & Eights, but Bully Ray comes out and nails him from behind, then piledrives him on the stage. Bubba reads some moody poetry, then says that Anderson raped him of his future, so since his wife is pregnant with twins, he’s going to decide their future for them.

Feast or Fired: Chris Sabin vs Hernandez vs Chavo Guerrero, Jr vs Norv Fernum vs Dewey Barnum vs Zema Ion vs Samoa Joe vs James Storm & Gunner vs Austin Aries vs Curry Man vs Ethan Carter III

Okay, this is going to be tough to recap with so much going on (this is why I hate recapping battle royals, by the way), but I’ll do my best. Aries wipes a bunch of people out with a dive over the ropes, Zema does a dive, then Hernandez does a dive. Gunner backdrops Storm over the top rope onto everybody, then Fernum and Barnes do a stereo dive, then Joe takes everyone out with a dive. Carter is the only one left in the ring and goes up to grab one of the briefcases. We’ll find out which one he got in a bit, but for now, we’re at commercial.

We’re back and Joe is on a rampage, powerbombing Fernum onto Barnes and then hitting the STJoe on Sabin. Fernum and Barnes climb up to grab a briefcvase, but Ion shoves them both out of the way and gets the case. Does anyone actually suppose he didn’t just get the tag title shot? Now Aries is cleaning house, hitting one IED after another on everyone in the ring before going up for a briefcase. Fernum and Barnes pull him down, but Aries takes them both out with a roaring elbow, then nails them both with a 450 splash. Aries tries to climb up and get one of the briefcases, but Sabin pulls him all the way down to the floor. Sabin tries to whip Aries into the steps, but Aries reverses and Sabin hits the steps. Hernandez pops Chavo onto the top rope and runs inteference while Chavo grabs one of the cases, and we only have one case left as the action continues. Gunner rocks Hernandez with a corner clothesline, and Hernandez fights him off and goes up to grab the last case, but gets stopped by Fernum and Barnes. Gunner comes along and double powerbombs them, assisting them in superplexing Hernandez in the process, and then Storm superkicks Joe and climbs the corner to grab the last case. He almost has it when Gunner charges Storm from behind and nails him, then literally steps over Storm and grabs the last case, then bashes Joe in the head with it for good measure.

We close the show with Jeff Hardy joining Dixie Carter in her VIP booth, and Dixie says she’s surprised to see him, but offers him some wine and lowers the blinds as we call it a week.