The “Still Real” Story Of How Dean Ambrose Became The Titty Master

One of the questions we seem to get almost daily is “How did Dean Ambrose get the nickname the Titty Master?”We did some digging and ended up finding one of the most intriguing and fascinating stories to ever hit the wrestling world. Let’s start from the beginning.

In a very distant galaxy there is a planet called Breastulous. On December 7, 1985 a miracle happened. A super alien was born under the name of Jonathan Good. On Breastulous there is no oxygen, only breasts. The only means of self preservation on this planet is to keep contact with a titty. Jonathan was a very diligent worker and needed more titties to maintain his physical lifestyle. After a while, Good collected every titty that Breastulous had to offer, leaving everyone else on the planet struggling to stay alive. The people of Breastulous took a vote and ousted Jonathan Good. They sent him to a place called the independents.

The independents (also known as the indies) is a collection of smaller planets. Jonathan Good had made such a name for himself as an outlaw on Planet Breastulous that he decided to change his name when he landed in the indies. Now under the alias Jon Moxley, he was able to roam the indies freely and began his titty snatching ways again. After a while, Moxley again became a big fish in a small pond. He collected almost all the titties that the indies had to offer and would’ve continued until he found a new goal.  Moxley found a Playboy magazine one night and was in awe of what he saw. Big and voluptuous titties. He did some research and found out that Planet Earth had the best titties ever created. He collected enough titties in the indies to gain enough strength to achieve the ability of flight. Moxley knew he should practice flying before taking the long journey to Earth. He would fly from one circuit to the next. The people of the indies were in awe of Moxley’s new found powers. They would look up as he was flying around and say “There goes the Titty Master, the greatest titty collector to ever live!”

Eventually, Moxley made his voyage to Earth. Much like when he got to the indies he decided he should adopt another alias so he could fly under the radar. He knew he had to be more cautious and meticulous with this new planet. He didn’t want the people of Earth to suspect him of going on a Titty Mastering binge and collecting all the titties that they had to offer. So he dawned the name Dean Ambrose. For the most part he has kept his titty mastering ways under wraps. Every once in a while he will go on a bender and master a bunch of titties at once but nothing like his time in the independents and on Breastulous. One day though, if all of the titties in the world disappear don’t bother looking for Ambrose. He will already be on another planet doing his thing and we will all be left saying “There goes the Titty Master, the greatest Titty collector to ever live!”