Braun Strowman Destroys Roman Reigns: WWE Raw Results 2/27/17

The Green Bay fans were in a frenzy and ready for a night of WWE action as they got to behold the go-home show to Fastlane. There have been rumors abound about what fans could expect tonight from Brock Lesnar and Goldberg’s interaction to Seth Rollins’ advertised announcement about his WrestleMania status. Finn Balor has even been thrown in the mix as he teased he might need to get a new jacket for tonight.

Opening Segment

Goldberg’s music hit and the crowd picked up on it eventually. The Goldberg chants were piped in and the crowd seemed to chant along, even though there were a few wide shots of the crowd which shows there were a lot of people not chanting along. Isn’t audio mixing a wonderful thing?

Goldberg was in true babyface fashion as he walked down the ramp and gave everyone a high-five like he just competed at a live show. Bill grabbed the mic and the Goldberg chants carried on.

Bill said that Kevin was wearing a nice little suit, that was kind of him. He then said Kevin talks and talks, but he isn’t going to do that. Goldberg said he was six-days out and he promised to win the Universal Championship because he never makes a promise he doesn’t plan on keeping. He said this while saying it would be a spear, jackhammer, and Goldberg leaving as Universal Champion. Gee, thanks for spoiling it Billy.

The fact Goldberg said that so explicitly really gives this writer hope they’ll go a different way at Fastlane.

Kevin Owens’ music and he came out once again looking like a Triple H hitman. He looks good in a suit as long as he keeps that beard. He thanks Goldberg for complimenting his nice suit and said he promised himself he would grab WWE by the throat and make them see what Kevin Owens is all about. He brings up the fact he beat John Cena on his first night on the main roster. He then started to list everyone he’s beaten since his NXT call-up.

Owens called the people who chant for Goldberg sheep, and that was the perfect way to get them to chant even louder. Bill challenged Kevin to fight him tonight. Owens proposed they have a Green Bay Street Fight, then he remembered he was in Green Bay and said that crowd didn’t deserve to see him fight. Kevin is such a great heel.

New Day Segment

Don’t you dare be sour, Green Bay! It is time for the fun-loving New Day, we’re sure that’s going to change soon enough. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, the New Day will see their final day, and it will be a sad day.

The crowd didn’t cheer much when Xavier plugged their WrestleMania hosting gig, but what we’re loving are the “New Day Pops” shirts they’re wearing. They brought up their newest ice cream gimmick, “New Day Pops”, a mouthful of magic, you gotta have it”.

Big E said they were going to take the shine off the Shining Stars and quickly quipped that he didn’t write that. Way to throw creative under the bus, E.

Shining Stars’ music hit but Kofi was handed a red envelope and said New Day weren’t fighting the Stars, the Shining Stars were actually facing Big Show later then pulled out the card in the envelope that said “Rusev and Jinder Mahal.” Nice topical Oscar joke.

The New Day vs. Rusev and Jinder Mahal

Big E and Xavier did a double-team move on Jinder and it sure sounded like Michael Cole called it “The Adderall”, can we check the tape on that one? Really?

Handsome Rusev (without the facemask) and Hardbody Mahal kept the pressure on Xavier Woods as Lana pointed and yelled stuff in Russian even though we all know what her voice really sounds like at this point. Woods fought back and got the tag off to Langston to clean house and deliver multiple belly-to-bellies to Jinder.

The finish of the match happened as Kofi distracted Lana outside which captured Rusev’s attention. Woods snuck up behind Jinder Mahal and rolled him up for a quick pin. Yay, The New Day wins!

Backstage Segments

Enzo and Big Cass are backstage talking about what they’re going to do when they win the tag titles. Enzo said he’s going to use it to “slide into girls’ DM’s”, classic Enzo. Big Cass reminds Enzo that they’ve never won a title, even in NXT. Cass tries to focus Enzo, but Amore keeps acting like he just snorted a line of espresso beans.

Sheamus and Cesaro are backstage where they run into Samoa Joe. Joes says “Long time no see, same old Cesaro, always desperately trying to figure it out.” That ticks them off a little bit. Joe says Cesaro is still going for that brass ring and Cesaro says Joe only carries Triple H’s jock strap. After Joe walked off, Sheamus said he wants to kick Joe’s head off and Cesaro said that he’d handle it.

Stephanie and Mick Foley are backstage and McMahon reminds Mickers that her husband ended his career. She says he’s getting weaker and has fallen out of grace and is now only a shell of his former self. She continued to degrade Santa Claus’ biggest fan until she just left him standing there looking sad and very un-jolly.

Akira Tozawa vs. Noam Dar

It’s purple rope time which means the cruiserweights are about to take the stage and Akira Tozawa is set to take on Noam Dar. The Sottish Supernova was accompanied to the ring by Alicia Foooooox. Michael Cole announced Tozawa and Rich Swann will take on The Brian Kendrick and Noam Dar in a tag match during the kick-off show at Fastlane. Fun.

Dar and Tozawa worked really well together and Akira hit Noam Dar with that really sick flying suicide battering ram move he does through the ropes. Good stuff. Tozawa hit a snap German suplex pin on Dar and got the three-count.

The Brian Kendrick showed up after the match and blindsided Tozawa, laid a neat little promo on the crowd, and left with a decent response from the crowd.

Backstage Segment

Mick Foley is backstage looking sad, Samoa Joe asked him he is wasn’t “having a nice day.” Cute. Mick called Joe Triple H’s puppet, Joe denied he was a puppet and says nobody tells him what to do. Mick Foley is acting like his days as GM of Raw are numbered and he booked a match between Ceraso and Samoa Joe later on.

Charlotte and Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks and Bayley

We’re so glad to have Dana Brooke back, really. If they keep surrounding her with people she can learn from, she’ll be a great wrestler pretty soon. It’s possible. Don’t judge me for trying to think positively.

Charlotte got the microphone and recapped her resentment she harbors for Bayley for taking her championship. She compares Bayley to Vanilla Ice, the Baja Men, and Bret Favre for being a one-hit wonder. That was cute. By the time Bayley’s music hit, the crowd was more than ready for her promo to be over.

This crowd was very much behind Bayley and the Hugger of Huggers is looking even more comfortable with that belt. Bayley said she has a new dream and pointed at the WrestleMania sign. She said she wants to walk into Mania as the champ and Char-Char said it won’t happen.

Sasha Banks came out and added to the verbal commotion. Banks said she is exhausted from looking at Charlotte’s stupid face. Mature, real mature. Sasha then said that they should start their match.

Charlotte said Dana isn’t her tag-team partner and introduced Nia Jax as her partner instead. Now they’re putting all four women rumored to be in the Raw Women’s championship match at Mania in the same match. Neat!

Nia displayed her dominance early on in the match by taking Sasha and Bayley out. Bayley took control back as she dodged and Jax went into the turnbuckle by herself. The two good girls bounced off the ropes at Nax but it looked like she botched her double clothesline, also she recovered nicely as Sasha waited around to take an elbow to go down as well.

Sasha and Charlotte wrestled around for a bit. These two work really well together, they need to book them in a program with each other. Bayley got the tag and Dana Brooke tripped her as she bounced off the rope. The Hugger rolled outside to give Brooke a Bayley to Belly on the outside for her troubles.

Jax hit a couple mean looking elbow drops on Sasha, but Banks kicked out at two. Apparently, Dana Brooke injured her ribs while taking that Bayley to Belly, so they might have been writing her off television with that remark.

Bayley got the hot-tag and worked an offensive sequence against Charlotte. Charlotte kicked out before the one-count. Nia Jax got the tag, but Bayley commenced to a rear chinlock, however, Nia threw her down to break the hold. Bayley kicked Jax and she turned to catch Sasha as she jumped off the top-rope. Nia then body slammed Sasha onto Bayley, hit a leg drop that would make Hulk Hogan proud, and won the match for her team.

Backstage Segment

Braun Strowman was backstage with Mick Foley as Mankind said he can’t give him a match tonight. Braun said he didn’t want a match, he wanted a contract. He said he didn’t want Roman to tuck his tail and run during their match. So, Mick set up a contract signing between Braun and Roman tonight. That’s something we’ve wanted to see, right?

Luke Gallows vs. Big Cass

It makes total sense to have the two big men from each team face each other because who wouldn’t want to see that? Enzo popped off some classic lines and Big Cass said they will win the titles at Fastlane. They didn’t talk much which obviously meant they didn’t have time because we’re sure Enzo had plenty of Green Bay references locked and loaded.

Gallows took it to Cass hard and fast and got a two-count. Enzo hyped up the crowd at ringside as Cass made his comeback. These guys were working in fast-motion. Colin Cassady tried to hoist Luke up, but Gallows countered it and kicked him in the head.

Cass hit a shoulder tackle and followed it up with a boot in the corner. He hit a fallaway slam, a sidewalk slam, and the Empire Elbow. Karl Anderson attacked Enzo outside, but Amore turned it on him and sent the Machine Gun into the ring steps.

Gallows ended up taking the big boot and Cass won the match. Quick and painless segment.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil

We’ve been waiting for this one, in Bizarro World. Titus met Sheamus on the ramp and beat the Celtic Warrior down. He pinned Sheamus against the turnbuckle and kept attacking The Great White Hope.

Unfortunately for O’Neil, Sheamus has a little move called the Brogue Kick which he used to put Titus away very quickly. So, that happened.

Cesaro had a much harder time in his match against Samoa Joe later on in the night.

Seth Rollins Interview

This segment was so special it got its own article. Click here to read all about it.

Big Show vs. Shining Stars (Handicap Match)

The Shining Stars gave out brochures for their time-share. Big Show won. No huge surprise there.

Backstage Segment

Neville bullied Tony Nese, and he really shouldn’t. He shouldn’t be a bully, he should be a star!

They played another Austin Aries promo which is exciting, although a surprise return to in-ring action would be a much better move

TJ Perkins and Jack Gallagher vs. Neville and Tony Nese

Let’s face it, Austin Aries is the best thing about the cruiserweight division, and he’s on commentary. Although it will be great to have him back in the ring when he finally comes back, we’ll lose him on commentary so that’s very bittersweet.

They announced Neville will deliver a “State of 205 Live Adress” Tuesday night which should be short. It would be appropriate if Neville got in the ring, said “Nobody’s watching”, dropped the mic, and left.

TJ Perkins was the only participant in this match without facial hair, and the fact this writer is deciding to let you know that instead of reporting on the events of the match should tell you something.

The good guys won when Nese tapped to Gentleman Jack. Neville did a neat little heel move where he slid in and acted like he was going to save his partner, but decided not to.

Beth Phoenix WWE Hall of Fame Package

This video was very well done. To read our report click here, you’ll be glad you did.

Backstage Segment

Bayley and Sasha are backstage talking about Fastlane. Sasha said she’ll be in Bayley’s corner and Stephanie walked up and started crap between the two of them. Stephanie said Banks doesn’t have to worry about sharing Bayley’s spotlight because she’ll have a match against Nia Jax at Fastlane. So, we got another one of those David and Goliath matches to look forward to on Sunday.

Cesaro vs. Samoa Joe

This really should have been a dream match for wrestling fans. Instead, it was subjugated to a buffer spot to fill time before the final segment. Joe looked ready for business and took the fight right to Cesaro.

The Swiss Superman picked up Joe and slammed him down, he threw Joe into the turnbuckle and hit an uppercut. The Samoan Submission Machine kicked out at after a cross body from Antonio. Joe regained control and kept up the pressure on Cesaro.

Cesaro muscled Joe up over his head and hit him with an impressive suplex. Joe took a couple uppercuts from Cesaro, but he followed it up by kicking The Swiss Superman’s leg. Cesaro tried to get Joe in the sharpshooter, but Joe punched him in the face. That’s one way to break the hold.

Cesaro slammed Joe down after some corner uppercuts and got a close two-count. These two are money and amazing work horses.

Cesaro hit Joe with a double stomp and got another two-count. Cesaro went for the Neutralizer but Joe countered. Samoa Joe hit Cesaro with a Urinage and got the win.

Hope Joe isn’t banned from doing the muscle buster, the Urinage is a great move, but it’s essentially a Rock Bottom and that’s already a Samoan’s finishing move.

Joe got the mic and called out Sami Zayn, Seth Rollins, etc. Zayn ran out and the two men brawled all over the building. Security came out and separated the two. Zayn hit Joe with a dive off the entrance ramp onto the arena floor and it looked like he got most of it at least.

The brawl ended with Sami’s music playing, therefore that’s a win for The Underdog From the Underground.

Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman Contract Signing

Do we really need to see every a contract signing for every match? We’re assuming every match has one of these, so do the non-televised contract signings still end in a fight? Those are just some things we think about in-between announcements of big names leaving Impact Wrestling.

Mick Foley was in the ring and ripped off a famous Gorilla Monsoon while describing this match. Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant these two are not. Stop doing that. Bad Foley, no biscuit for you!

Mick has seemed very disheartened during this whole broadcast, it might be the first signs he’ll soon be leaving Raw once more. Braun called Mickles a broken down suburban dad. Mick lost it and said, “general managers come, and general managers go, but WWE legends live on forever.” Braun got in his face as Roman’s music hit.

Reigns and Strowman battled on the ramp and Roman got the upper hand with a Superman Punch, but The Monster Among Men picked Roman up and drove him into the post. The two men then fought all over the inside of the arena.

Roman started to fight back as Braun was about to destroy him on the steps and hit a Superman Punch off the steps. Then he speared Strowman through a barricade while killing an innocent bystander in the process. That security guard better be a plant or Vince is going to have one hell of a lawsuit settlement on his hands.

Roman started to sign the contract and Braun came back in the ring. Roman hit Strowman with a third Superman Punch and Strowman threw Roman chest-first into the turnbuckle so hard the top rope detached. That’s a new one. At least Roman was wearing his illegal chest protector.

Braun walked up the ramp and looked back as Roman signed the contract. Reigns’ music started playing regardless of the fact he got destroyed in the closing segment.

So, that was the go-home show for Fastlane. There was no Brock Lesnar, no Ric Flair, and no Finn Balor. It was just… another go-home show for a pay-per-view.

Seth Rollins was definitely the highlight of the night.