The table was set for a huge Raw from Cleveland, Ohio. Every member of The Shield was in singles action against usual foes, but there was a new Woken Matt Hardy lurking around the corner and the WWE Universe couldn’t wait to see his manic laughter once again as he continued toward his first target of DELETION: Bray Wyatt. We would also figure out who is going to tangle with Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble which is sure to be loads of fun.

Opening Segment

Samoa Joe was already in the ring to start off the show. He started talking about The Shield and said he’s not impressed with them. He called Dean Ambrose a human cockroach and talked about how he snapped Seth Rollins’ knee on his first night. Then he said he’s come to finish things with Roman Reigns.

Joe said he wasn’t asking for The Big Dog and his two lap dops, he just wanted him. Then it showed Seth watching backstage on a screen and Dean walked up asking what’s going on. Rollins told Dean to go get Roman, “get the big guy, yeah” Seth said.

Samoa Joe said he would have beat Roman Reigns last week if it weren’t for that “silly bastard” Jason Jordan. Wrestling is fun.

Joe said if Roman had a problem with him, then he’d come out to stop him and without The Shield Reigns would be nothing. “If you’ve got a problem with that, feel free to come on down here and prove me wrong.”

Cut to: backstage… the Hounds Of Justice were all watching on a screen. “I got this boys.” Roman said and then he walked out to a lot of cheering girl screams. Roman entered the ring in quick fashion, but it was all for not. Sheamus and Cesaro joined the fight so Dean and Seth ran down too.

But The Bar slid out to cut Rollins and Ambrose off while Reigns was stuck in a Coquina Clutch. Then they isolated Seth and then Dean took a uranage slam from Samoa Joe. The heels stood over The Shield to close out the segment.

Bayley and Mickie James (with Sasha Banks) vs Paige and Mandy Rose (with Sonya Deville)

Before getting to the ring, Paige said she had her first match in over a year last week and she got to “squash a boss” and they were about to run through two former champs. Rose said they were going to continue to purge the entire division of the unworthy. Deville said it’s time to “put your hair up and square up”… neat… oh yeah and, “Absolution is a symphony of carnage and the music is about to start”… so many cool things you could put on a t-shirt!

Paige was intense during this match and each team worked pretty well together. Of course, they didn’t get perfectly but there’s always bumps to iron out along the way.

In the end, Paige would assist in the win after kicking Mickie in the head when she wasn’t looking allowing Mandy to score the rollup pin.

Winners: Absolution

Woken Matt and Bray Wyatt Continue

Bray Wyatt said this is nothing new because it’s always been darkness vs light, good vs evil, it’s his favorite game.

Woken Matt said The Great War has transcended space and time and now it’s occurring in WWE… YAAAAS.

The two traded promos back and forth like deranged talking heads. Bray called Matt a modern day golden calf and his words mean nothing. Matt said his soul and Sister Abigail’s have crossed paths before because she’s lasted eternities as well… but now she lives in the vessel known as Bray Wyatt.

Wyatt said to choose your side wisely but only one of them can survive. Hardy said they are preparing for battle against the Wyatt swarm and they shall DELETE… (insert a couple back and forth cuts of creepy laughing here).

Backstage Segment

Enzo Amore was backstage talking sweet nothings to his boo (Cruiserweight Title). Drew Gulak showed up looking like a politician and said WWE has revoked Rich Swann’s match and another fatal four-way would need to be held to choose another opponent for the #1 contender’s match.

Enzo started naming off a bunch of 205 Live guys while saying to Gulak it didn’t matter who he faced and he slipped up and said Nia Jax’s name. Gulak brought his attention to this and said he knew why Enzo said Jax’ name… it’s because he wanted him to be prepared for anything… yup. That’s it.

So it looks like this Enzo Amore and Nia Jax angle might get pretty 2000’s teen comedy on us.

Finn Balor vs Curtis Axel

Yeah, Finn Balor won with a shotgun dropkick and a Coupe De Gras. It didn’t take long. It’s just a shame Axel is still in this position. But he was still playing up his neck injury from that Braun Strowman running powerslam through the announce table a month ago.

Winner: Finn Balor via pinfall

Kane cut a promo backstage about how he was going to win against Braun Strowman.

Seth Rollins vs Sheamus

Seth took it to Sheamus until The Celtic Warrior turned it around and took him out with a stiff knee that sent Rollins flying to the outside.

Sheamus slowed things down with a headlock and kept on the pressure from there. Rollins eventually broke free with a jawjacker, but didn’t get far before taking more abuse from Sheamus.

Seth hit the superplex into a falcon arrow move that is just sick to do especially while he’s selling an injured let. Sheamus hit a rollins senton after kicking out and geared up for a Brogue Kick but missed and caught a Rollins knee. 1-2-3… that “knee” needs a name already.

Winner: Seth Rollins via pinfall

Renee Young interviewed her husband Dean Ambrose backstage where she asked if he had any strategies and he said he didn’t want to get kicked in the head… good plan. Dean Ambrose is so over in Ohio it doesn’t matter if he wins or loses though.

Mustafa Ali vs Tony Nese vs Cedric Alexander vs Ariya Daivari

Drew Gulak was on the announce desk where he called Booker T “Mr T” which was great when the WWE Hall Of Famer corrected him and just said, “Booker.”

Rich Swann had his opportunity revoked which is a really nice way of saying “indefinitely suspended.”

After a really nice back and forth match where everyone had a counter for a counter and a move to reverse the next reveral, Cedric Alexander hit a Lumbar Check and pulled off the win.

Winner: Cedric Alexander via pinfall

After the match was over, Alexander cut a nice little promo saying he would win next week and go on to beat Enzo.

Backstage Segment

Drew Gulak caught up with Enzo when he accidentally said he was going to become the Cruiserweight Champion. But before Enzo could get too into dismantling Gulak using his words like a lightsaber, he saw Nia Jax.

They said “how you doing” to each other before Nia said she wanted to talk to Enzo Amore when he wasn’t busy.

Roman Reigns vs Cesaro (Intercontinental Title Match) 

After hurting Reigns’ arm early on in the match, Roman was selling his injured arm for a bit which was the focus of Cesaro throughout pretty much this entire match.

Reigns sold the pain well but fought out of a submission hold to turn things around on Cesaro. But everything Reigns did was countered by Cesaro locking in another submission hold.

Reigns fought back but his “bad arm” meant he couldn’t get the Superman Punch on The Swiss Superman. So Cesaro locked in another arm submission. Roman got control on the outside but his arm injury would become an issue again. Reigns went for a Spear but caught a knee to the face.

Reigns still lifted up Cesaro by his full weight to bring him down into a sitdown powerbomb for a two count. Cesaro nearly had Reigns in a tight inside cradle but he kicked out.

Reigns countered out of a Neutralizer and hit the spear for the win.

Winner: Roman Reigns via pinfall

Braun Backstage Promo

Braun Strowman cut a promo about how much he wanted to destroy Kane and it was pretty basic. This main event is going to be something special I guess.

Asuka vs yeah…

Asuka came out ready to face Alicia Fox but Foxy didn’t come out. Paige and her buddies came out instead and then they showed Fox on the screen nursing an injured arm while a referee told her she needed to get it checked out.

Paige cut a promo on Asuka and asked if she was ready for Absolution. The surrounded the ring until Asuka cut loose on them and had each member of Absolution until the numbers game began to win over The Empress Of Tomorrow but Sasha Banks ran down as well as every other member of the Raw Women’s Division.

It was a huge brawl in the ring as everyone beat on Absolution. Nia Jax and Paige teased something but Paige countered out of a Samoan Drop attempt. In the end, Absoultion would scamper off after pulling Mandy Rose from the clutches of the rest of the Raw Women’s Division including Alexa Bliss.

Backstage Segment

Kurt Angle told some guy to make sure the ring was secured because the last time Kane and Strowman fought they broke the ring… like he’s gonna do anything about it.

JJ came in and told his daddy he needed the match against Samoa Joe. Then he got really upset and called Angle “Kurt” before leaving. Hearing his son call him by his first name seemed to upset the Olympic Hero.

Dean Ambrose vs Samoa Joe

These two were very stiff with each other and beat the stuffing out of each other.

These two had a pretty rough match but Jason Jordan had to get involved. While Samoa Joe and JJ fought, Dean hit a suicide dive. Joe would return the favor after hitting a suicide dive on Dean and JJ after Ambrose got in Jordan’s face for distracting the referee from counting a pin.

Samoa Joe latched on the Coquina Clutch and although Ambrose didn’t tap out, the match was still stopped by the referee after The Lunatic Fring was out cold.

Winner: Samoa Joe via submission

Kane vs Braun Strowman

These two fought in and out of the ring and it eventually spilled out onto the floor. Braun hit a tackle through the barricade as the referee kept counting.

While these two monsters writhed in pain on the floor, the referee counted to ten and ended the match. But the real action happened after the match. Everyone got chokeslammed and destroyed.

There was a spot where both men were out cold on the mat after a double tackle. Kane sat up like he used to followed by Strowman who just looked crazy when he did it. Kane scooted away and looked worried.

Braun had already brought a table into the ring after they destroyed each other with a chair all over the place. Kane tried to hit a chokeslam through the table but it was reversed. Braun Strowman picked Kane up and hit a running powerslam through the table to end the night with his music playing loudly and Strowman celebrating.

But there is still no official opponent for Brock Lesnar at Royal Rumble.

 

 

 

 

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