Kurt Angle’s coming home to Pittsburgh which means it’s time for Raw and there was a packed show in store for fans tonight. Not only will fans get to see Big Cass and Big Show go at it again and Brock Lesnar’s three SummerSlam opponents will do battle in a triple threat match. Jason Jordan is also appearing on Miz TV. Hopefully, SummerSlam plans will become a little bit more clear as we make our way to The Biggest Party Of The Summer.
They updated the intro a little bit recently at least I noticed it tonight. Enzo is by himself and I believe Elias Samson… I mean Elias got a nice little feature too.
Kurt Angle’s music hit and he walked his way to the ring egging on the “you suck” chants because he knows when the crowd chants “you suck” it really means “we love you!” But Kurt Angle was in his hometown of Pittsburgh PA and he milked it for everything a hometown can give.
Needless to say, The Steel City loves them some Olympic Hero.
Angle gave the rundown for the night and said today matches and said today was the 21st anniversary of him winning an Olympic gold medal with a broken freakin’ neck. It all seemed well and good until Brock Lesnar’s music hit when Angle was trying to leave and The Beast Incarnate and his advocated Paul Heyman made their way to the ring.
Heyman cut a promo saying he saw the angle Angle was playing. He said he had to take the Universal Title off of Brock Lesnar. He said Angle did this on purpose by booking Lesnar in a fatal four-way against people like Strowman, Roman, and Joe.
Heyman hinted very heavily about Brock flirting with the UFC without saying it when he spoke about how Angle had a board of directors to answer to who was telling him to get the title off Lesnar. Heyman said they should rename this event “SummerSlam 2017: Brock Lesnar Loses The Universal Title” and the crowd kinda popped a bit. He said he wants Brock to pay the “ultimate” price. Nice wording… then he said he Brock loses the UT, then he’s leaving WWE and Paul’s going along with him.
Paul kept cutting a promo strewn with hints at deeper meanings while he said Brock wasn’t losing the Universal Championship. Therefore Lesnar isn’t leaving WWE? But he will leave if he loses. Is WWE working this UFC match into a storyline already?
It’s the kinda thing that makes you wanna go “hmmm.”
Hardy Boyz vs The Club
The Revival was on commentary which gave a huge clue they’d be getting involved at some point in this thing because nobody comes out just to do commentary anymore.
Matt and Karl started out and wrestled around for a bit until Matt took control and tagged in Jeff. Matt tagged back in quickly and hit a middle turnbuckle elbow drop on Anderson while Jeff held him. Hardy did the “Team Xtreme” sign too because that’s important.
Gallows got the tag eventually and took a poetry in motion from The Hardy Boyz. Have you noticed WWE hasn’t really spent a whole lot of time coming up with new Hardy merch? There are mostly “retro” shirts which leads me to believe they’re holding out hope like we are to have a whole mess of Broken Hardy merch sooner or later. *Fingers crossed*
Luke Gallows took control thanks to a stiff kick to Jeff’s jaw until Jeff caused some separation with a Twist Of Fate. Anderson got the tag first and kept Jeff from crawling to make the tag. But then Jeff moved out of the way and Karl took a turnbuckle by himself.
Matt got the tag and hit the turnbuckle smash spot while the crowd blew up in “delete” chants. He hit the running bulldog and got a two count. Matt hit a Side Effect and got a two count. Then Anderson blocked the Twist Of Fate and Luke hit a cheap shot which caused enough room for Karl to tag him in.
They set up for the Magic Killer but Jeff broke it up. Gallows started hurting the Hardys until Matt moved and Luke hit the turnbuckle. Twist Of Fate, tag Jeff in, Swanton Bomb, pinfall victory for the Hardys.
The Revival actually stayed on the commentary table to whole time during the match, well I’ve been proved wrong and it was a nice surprise. Dash and Dawson talked trash to The Hardys as they posed in victory on the entrance ramp.
Then The Hardys started taunting The Revival so they got up to answer him. The Club got involved too and all three teams started brawling. The Hardys got the best of them all and took Twist Of Fates all over the place.
The Club got knocked off the ramp and it looked like Karl Anderson hit the guardrail in a weird way. The Hardys hit a Poetry In Motion off the ramp onto The Club. The Hardys celebrated and looked huge in this triple team feud.
Renee Young interviewed her husband Dean Ambrose about his match with Seth against the Miztourage last week. Renee asked if he and Seth are getting back together (should that make Renee feel any sort of way?).
Dean said last week was special and real then all of a sudden Seth was standing there looking like a sincere nervous high schooler about to ask someone to the prom. Rollins said he agreed with Ambrose.
The Lunatic Fringe said he’s gotta have eyes in the back of his head and as much as the WWE Universe might want it and as much as he might want it too, he doesn’t know if he can take Seth Rollins to the prom… I mean SummerSlam.
This Shield reunion is starting to give us a case of the feels.
Later on, Seth Rollins was walking backstage and ran across Sheamus and Cesaro. Yup, The Shield is getting a shot at the Raw Tag Team Championships at SummerSlam.
Sheamus and Cesaro said they were the opposite of The Shield. Sheamus and Cesaro were rivals before being put together and The Shield were brothers until Seth stabbed everyone in the back.
Sheamus and Cesaro continued to talk some trash to Rollins until he had enough. Seth said “let’s fight” and challenged either Sheamus or Cesaro to a match tonight. Sheamus stepped up and spoke some intense words in Seth’s face before taking off.
TJP, Tony Nese, Ariya Daivari vs Cedric Alexander, Akira Tozawa, and Rich Swann
This match was there to take up some time, plug 205 Live, get some attention on the Cruiserweight Championship scene, and shot off Tony Nese’s biceps.
Apparently, Daivari is the Sheik Of The Cruiserweights and he doesn’t bow down to a King Of The Cruiserweights. That’s nice. We wonder if the Iron Sheik would call him a jabroni.
Tius was on ringside and they kept up the story where Tozawa is working with an injured shoulder. He took a bump and Titus was trying to get him to think about his career while Aira kept saying “no, I’m okay.” Then Ariya Daivari locked in a submission hold on Tozawa’s shoulder.
Rich Swanna and Cedric Alexander traded tags and hit a few nice looking high spots then Cedric hit a plancha over the ropes as Swan hit a corkscrew dive followed by Tozawa hit a suicide dive on Daivari.
TJP tried for a Detonation Kick when they got back in the ring and they traded some two counts. Akira got the blind tag and hit a senton for the win.
That’s two matches in a row that ended with a top rope Senton Bomb if you’re keeping score at home.
The babyfaces celebrated in the ring while Titus O’Neil snapped a group selfie with the Raw stars.
Miz TV featuring Jason Jordan
This segment might just set up the Intercontinental Title Match at SummerSlam. Miz and the Miztourage came down including Maryse and they were all dressed to the nines.
After a pause Miz said, “I can’t tell you how much I hate this city” and the place erupted in a boo. That was brilliant.
Miz said nothing has got the WWE Universe talking more than Kurt Angle’s reveal of Jason Jordan as Kurt Angle’s son. JJ was introduced and his new theme song debuted sounding like something out of a Nintendo NES video game.
Miz talked up Jordan’s story as they sat in the director’s chair. JJ started to talk and Miz cut him off. Miz asked him how it felt to be booed by the fans. Jordan said the fans are going to do whatever they want that’s cool but when it comes to boos, Miz is the expert in this.
Miz kept trying to toss Jordan the ball and said his comparisons to Angle’s career are similar. Then Miz offered a spot in the Miztourge to JJ. Jordan looked them over as Bo Dallas and Axel stood there cheesing like nobody’s business.
Jordan said, “I’m good.”
Miz reminded Jason that he headlined WrestleMania and he can help him navigate the shark infested waters of the WWE locker room. Miz said JJ needed his help and Jason said it’s a good offer but he’s going to pass.
Miz said why would JJ join him because his dad is the GM and he gets handed anything he wants. Jordan said that wasn’t the case. JJ said he’s rather get chewed up and spit out than be associated with The Miz.
Miz said JJ latches onto a different Olympian every other week and that was a LULZ moment. The Miz just took over the segment because JJ wasn’t really cutting it. Miz got on his feet and kept dissing Jason’s daddy. Jordan just sat there and started to look like he was getting steamed. He said Miz can say what he wants about him but if he says one more word about Kurt then he’ll make him regret it.
Miz went at Jordan and he went behind him and German Suplexed him into Bo and Curtis. Then JJ left the ring smiling while the Miztourage looked rather displeased in the ring.
Roman Reigns promo
Roman Reigns cut a promo about Braun and Joe. Yup.
Sheamus vs Seth Rollins
Cesaro and Sheamus came out together for Sheamus’ singles match. These two did become a pretty fantastic team.
Okay, “BURN IT DOWN!” they added some vocals to Seth Rollins’ theme song. That’s neat and explains Seth’s new “burn it down” t-shirt.
Sheamus tried to rough Seth up in the beginning but Seth took control and hit a dropkick to the face and tied Sheamus up in the ropes to punish him.
Seth his another dropkick and sent Sheamus out of the ring. Rollins went for a dive, but Cesaro distracted him which gave Sheamus time to come up with a clubbing blow to Seth when the suicide dive came.
Sheamus pulled Seth out of the ring and tossed him against the barricade while the Raw Tag Team Champions stood above The Architect and celebrated this little victory.
But the match wasn’t over and the two soon returned to the ring. The two met on the top rope and Sheamus hit a rolling senton from the top for a two count. Sheamus looked frustrated and Rollins looked hurt.
Rollins reversed Sheamus’ signature apron chest beating and jumped off the ropes for a springboard but it was countered into an Irish Curse backbreaker for another two count.
Cesaro was telling Seth he had no friends and Booker T said “that was a rib there guys” — nice insider industry speak on Raw. We can only assume Vince didn’t like hearing that.
Sheamus ended outside the ring and Rollins hit a suicide dive on The Celtic Warrior. He tossed Sheamus back in the ring and hit a springboard flying clothesline, a sling blade, and went for a blockbuster but instead jumped down to hit Cesaro who had climbed on the apron.
Sheamus tried to snatch Rollins, but the match was ended quickly with a roll-up. Seth won the match but the Raw Tag Team Champions soon started destroying him. Refs tried to encourage them to stop but they still did all the damage they wanted to.
The Raw crowd chanted “we want Ambrose,” but Deano never came to save his former Shield brethren. Sheamus hit Rollins with a double team White Noise to put the cherry on top.
Seth started getting to his feet so Sheamus and Cesaro went back in the ring to get some more. Suddenly Dean came running down but was soon taken out too. Maybe Dean shouldn’t have waited until after Rollins was obliterated in the ring so he could have some help.
Cesaro hit the Neutralizer on Dean and left 2/3 of The Shield laying on the mat. Then Dean started to get up and Cesaro choked him with his shirt to hold him while Sheamus hit a Brogue Kick to keep Dean on the canvas. Is choking someone with their ripped shirt better than choking someone with their tie? Because Daniel Bryan got fired for that kind of deal.
Samoa Joe Promo
They aired a cool little promo for Joe where he talked about being inches from the Universal Championship and “nobody has dominated Roman Reigns like me.”
These promos seemed a little different than the normal videos they air where the voiceover was a promo and they cut it with a highlight package. It was nice but seemed very daytime trash TV talk show for some reason.
Bray Wyatt Is Creepy And Amazing
The fireflies were out in force and Bray Wyatt made his way to the ring looking like he really believed he is a god. Booker T called him “a special kinda cat.” He is indeed.
Bray cut a brilliant promo about not having any escape for you, your children, or for Finn Balor. He said no man can escape the darkness and everyone is held down by humanity’s shackles. He called Pittsburgh pitiful to try and draw heat but yeah… people still love him.
Bray said he is everywhere. When the honest man tries to justify stealing, when people try to proclaim to be a part of the Balor Club, he said everyone’s blind illusions lead them to believe they can be like Finn Balor and live through him.
Finn is an ordinary man who seeks to do extraordinary things. Then everyone foolishly rejoices as he rises from the ashes. But Bray said he sees Finn for who he is: a putrid shell of a man that never was.
Finn is tomorrow’s dreams and yesterday’s promises. Bray was on fire during this one as he manically laughed i the ring. Bray drove himself to laying on the mat as he finished his amazing promo.
Bray asked how it felt when he took Finn last week and turned him into a mangled heap of broken promises. Bray said when The Eater Of Worlds knocks you down you’re not getting up and there’s no escape.
Insert Finn Balor here. Balor’s intro was longer this time and suddenly when the lights came back on he was in the ring with his arms outstretched. Balor had his back to Bray as Wyatt said he liked this very much.
Suddenly Balor hit Bray with an overhead kick and Bray left the ring. Balor hit a dropkick through the ropes and then a dropkick that sent Wyatt over the barricade.
Braun Strowman Promo
They aired a video package for Braun Strowman because they did one for Roman and Joe so it’s only fair. He said he wanted to hurt Roman Reigns again and asked “what could Samoa Joe do to me.”
Braun said he wanted to take out his opponents and face Brock Lesnar by himself at SummerSlam to become The Champion Among Men. He’s also going to turn Joe and Roman into puddles of bruised flesh and broken bones… that’s nice of him.
Samoa Joe vs Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns
This was an interesting place to put this main event of a match. But it was certainly a good idea to keep the audience into the third hour.
Roman took his time on the ramp and posed for the crowd who seemed to give him a warmer reception than he’s received for while.
All three men squared off and once the bell rang Braun took out Joe with a forearm and started to work on Roman. Braun hit Joe and Roman with running clotheslines in the corner and Joe rolled out side. Braun tossed Roman outside as well and yelled, “this is my yard!”
Braun maintained control until Roman moved out of the way of a charge to the corner and Joe hit him with a splash. Reigns clothesline him and Joe assisted in taking Strowman out and The Monster Among Men ended up on the floor.
Samoa Joe soon picked Roman out of midair when he went for a clothesline and tried to lock on an arm bar. Joe kept Roman away from the ropes by transitioning closer to the ropes but that let Braun drag him outside.
The match moved to the outside while Roman hit Braun with some clubbing blows and Braun soon left the ringside area to travel out into the crowd. Braun and Strowman fought in the crowd until Strowman got the upper hand and tossed Roman back over the barricade.
Suddenly Joe tried to lock in the Coquina Clutch but Roman knocked Joe hard in the face to break it up. Braun was down once again as Joe and Roman fought around the outside of the ring. Joe kicked Reigns in the side of the head to bring the Big Dog to the ground.
Roman took Joe out in the ring and geared up for the Superman Punch when Joe rolled out of the ring. But Reigns went outside and used the ring steps to assist in an even bigger Superman Punch. He rolled Joe in as Roman noticed Braun was stirring.
Roman geared up for a spear but ran into Braun’s boot to the face/sternum… whatever, it hurt. Braun picked Roman up and drove him into the ring post as Joe ran around to get taken out by The Monster Among Men as well.
Braun sent Roman into the ring steps as he plotted his next move. Strowman ran around the room and took Joe out again with a shoulder tackle then returned to Reigns.
Braun tossed Roman through the ropes and into the ring the tossed some ring steps into the ring too. Braun tried to work on Joe a little bit more, but Samoa Joe retaliated and hit an enziguri and ran in the ring to hit Roman with a running senton for a two count. Joe propped the ring steps up on the turnbuckle and tried to throw Roman through them. Roman reversed it and Joe locked in a Coquina Clutch.
Bruan broke it up and ended up hitting Joe with a hard powerslam but Roman broke up the pin. Braun started beating Roman against the turnbuckle “nothing pretty about Braun Strowman but its effective” Michael Cole said.
Braun dragged the ring steps to the middle of the ring and looked down at Roman. “Yes” chants started to ring out as Braun picked up the steps. But Reigns hit a Superman Punch on Braun and then hit him with the steps to drive him out of the ring.
Roman turned around and hit Samoa Joe with a spear. 1-2-3 and Roman Reigns wins.
Big Show was backstage firing off push ups like they were nothing. Enzo walked up to Show and said he apprecaited the help Big Show gave him last week. The Big Show said he’s going to teach Big Cass a lesson in respect.
Elias vs Kalisto
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s just Elias. No more Samson, but it certainly sounded like a lot of people wanted to walk with Elias. When he asked who wanted to walk with him he seemed pleasantly surprised by the positive reaction. Of, course the crowd turned on him when he called everyone in Pittsburgh garbage during his song.
Elias took an early advantage over Kalisto and launched him outside to bide some time. Once the action returned to the ring it was much of the same as the former Lucha Dragon took some punishment from Elias Sam… no, just Elias.
Elias continued his assault on Kalisto until he used his quickness to counter. Kalisto hit Elias with a verticle seated senton and drove Elias’ face into the mat with those cool leg scissors. Suddenly Elias hit the Drift Away neckbreaker and it was over.
1-2-3 and The Drifter won. I don’t care if he’s just Elias because he will always be The Drifter to me.
Alexa Bliss was interviewed and she said she was estatic when Bayley won the #1 contenders match becaue she’s already beaten her. Well, thanks for tipping the hat about this one. She said Sasha losing to Bayley was embarassing. Then Bliss said nobody will be here to bail Bayley out of her match against Nia Jax later tonight.
Bayley vs Nia Jax
It’s Bayley! But Nia Jax came down to destroy her. Jax grabbed Bayley’s ponytail and dragged her out of the ring and brought her back in for a stiff headbutt.
Bayley fought back, but Nia wouldn’t budge. Bayley tried to jump over her, but Nia grabbed her and flipped her to the canvas. Then she tossed Bayley outside of the ring under the rope and that looked rough.
Nia maintained control until Bayley fought back and sent her to the turnbuckle with a couple knees. She leaped over Nia and went to splash her but was grabbed in midair. Nia lifted Bayley up and slammed her down face-first.
“Nia’s so incredibly impressive,” Michael Cole said.
Bayley rolled out of the ring as the refs checked on her while Nia stayed in the ring and put her hair up in a ponytail like Bayley. The Hugger was hurt as she rolled back in the ring.
Nia continued her assault as Nia kept punishing her by splashing her in the corner. The ref tried to check on Bayley but the two fought on.
Bayley kept trying to fight back but Nia hit a shoulder tackle. Then Nia slipped up and Bayley got control. Bayley hit an elbow to the back of Nia’s head and dropkicked her to the apron. Nia got hung up in the ropes and Bayley sent her to the floor after a running knee. Bayley hit a cross body on Jax to the floor but the crowd didn’t sound like they cared.
Alexa Bliss popped up out of nowhere, but Bayley fought her off. Nia went for a running splash but Bayley moved and Jax went into the ring steps. As the ref continued to count, Bayley rolled in the ring and won the match via count out.
Bayley was able to scamper off before Bliss or Jax could get their hands on her. But the audience didn’t sound like they cared at all.
Big Cass was interviewed about what Big Show said earlier. Big Show said he always knew Big Show talked out of his… posterior… nice line.
He called Enzo a little gnat and said his grandmother always told him he’s just as good as the company he keeps. Then he called Big Show a miscreant and that was that.
Big Show vs Big Cass
Okay, so these two guys are going to headline Raw, okay.
Before the match started Michael Cole hyped the Miz TV segment and their highlight of the segment made it look way better than it really was.
Enzo came out first and got the crowd going. It was kind of difficult because a lot of the people seemed to be kind of dead after they already got the main event at the end of the second hour.
Amore said Cass has done some terrible things and then he admitted he was no angel either. But in his whole life, he’s never eaten the brown part of a bruised banana. Okay. But then Enzo said he would eat a banana peel before he stopped being real. He said Big Cass was SAWFT.
Enzo said Big Show is rich so when he writes a check it doesn’t bounce. “I understand Enzo’s not a great tipper,” Corey Graves said… wow! Very nice reference to that strip club story.
Big Cass came out to new music this time, I guess the office hated it as much as we did.
Big Show grabbed Cass as soon as he went to step over the ropes. He beat on Cass until the ref separated them while the “Casshole” chants started to ring out.
Big Show kept Cass in the corner and chopped his chest with those massive catcher mits he has for hands. Cass tried to shoot Show to the corner but Big Show stopped and just tossed him over the top rope to the floor.
While Big Cass tried to get up, Show just stood there and waited.
Show tried to drag Cass up by his hair, but Cassady blocked it. Cass soon ran into the ring but ate a shoulder tackle and a powerslam from Big Show. The Giant hit an elbow for a two count and the match continued.
Big Show hit Cass with a suplex and signaled for the chokeslam. He went to hit a chokeslam but Cass kicked him in the gut and took out his knee. Big Cass saw Show was hurt and started working on his legs.
Big Show powered out of a leg submission and he blocked an attack from Cass but ate a kick to the jaw. Big Cass prepped himself and got on the second rope. Cass jumped right into a big chop from Show and then ate a couple clotheslines.
Big Show hit a splash in the corner but Big Cass caught a big boot on Big Show… there’s a lot of big going on. Suddenly Enzo Amore jumped in the ring and onto Big Cass.
The ref called for the bell as the crowd went mild. Big Cass hit Enzo with a big boot and got in his face.
Then Cass ran to Big Show and right into a knock out punch. As soon as Show landed the punch he hit the ground to sell his match.
The Big Show’s music played as Big Cass remained on the canvas.
Well, that was Raw.