raw

It’s time for WWE Monday Night Raw and it was set to be a really amazing night. Braun Strowman was set to go against John Cena checking another box on the Big Match John Dream Match List. Jason Jordan was also set to face Roman Reigns which was an interesting booking decision. We’re moving closer to No Mercy and things are bound to get intense.

Roman Reigns vs Jason Jordan

Roman Reigns’ music hit and the crowd immediately started booing him. Last week Roman gave John Cena some grief because it took him so long to defeat Jason Jordan. Now he has a chance to show what he can do.

When the match started, both guys just stood there so the camera could show Cena watching on a monitor backstage. They really wasted some time starting by this one out slowly.

Then Roman started hitting JJ with right hands. Jodan countered with a belly-to-belly suplex and followed it up with some shoulders to the gut in the corner. JJ kept up the pressure by shooting Roman to each turnbuckle which gave Roman the chance to jump up and hit a clothesline.

After that Roman started with the offense. But JJ countered a Superman Punch into a cross-face. Reigns squirmed out of the submission hold and exited the ring to compose himself for a bit.

Roman tossed JJ around the ring and bounced him off the turnbuckle. He hit a painful looking suplex and covered for a two count. Then Reigns continued the pressure on Jordan.

The Big Dog hit a Samoan Drop but Jaron kicked out at two again. Roman was starting to look a bit frustrated.

As Roman continued the abuse to Jason, Kurt Angle’s baby boy countered with another nice suplex and a powerful clothesline. JJ was looking really good and rubbing elbows with John Cena one week and Roman Reigns the next while having twenty-minute matches in the process only made him look better.

JJ mounted a rally with some knock downs and a standing dropkick. His dropkicks are a thing of beauty. When Jordan took down his singlet straps and hit the double Northern Lights suplexes for the two count WWE Hall of Famer Booker T said: “put a rocket on this kid.”

Jason latched on the cross-face and Roman got to the ropes but he seemed spent. Last week Reigns was calling Jason Jordan a rookie.

Then Roman hit a drive by out of nowhere. They returned to the ring and he hit the Superman Punch and the Spear. 1-2-3 and Jordan two weeks in a row against a top-tier guy but looked great while doing it.

After the match, Roman Reigns shook hands with Jason Jordan while John Cena watches on a monitor backstage.

John Cena said he had a lot to say about Roman’s victory, but he’s gonna say it to Roman Reigns’ face.

Cena And Reigns’ Wild Ride Continues

Roman was still tired in the ring when Cena came down looking chipper. They gave Cena two microphones and before giving Roman his mic he reminded it wasn’t a nightstick for his tactical pants.

Cena brought up how Jason Jordan almost beat Roman and he had some explaining to do. John suggested Reigns keep his response short like “because it’s my yard, believe that.”

Reigns said he’s had better matches in the past two years than he has in Cena’s who career. John said the fans can’t pin this one on him because Roman’s burying himself. He said Roman’s got his head up his ass like some kind of one-man human centipede.

Cena said the second you think you made it is the beginning of the end and Reigns will learn what real failure is all about. He said he comes out week after week to give him a shot but instead, Cena takes him to school and Roman fails.

Cena said Roman failed at everything including doing his homework. Cena said Roman doesn’t have it in him and No Mercy is gonna be a cake walk.

John started to walk off and Roman told him to “bring you b-tch ass back here.” Roman asked why Cena called him out. Maybe it’s because he’s selling the tickets Cena hasn’t sold in five years. Roman said revenue is sky-high and WWE can make it without him.

Roman said Cena needs WWE because he can’t break into Hollywood. Then Reigns said he knows a guy obviously talking about his cousin The Rock.

Cena said consider WWE No Mercy like a drug test because Roman isn’t getting past him. Microphone drop… exit John Cena.

Sasha Banks vs Emma

Alexa Bliss was on commentary blaming Sasha Banks for losing the tag match last week which created a fatal four-way at WWE No Mercy.

Emma and Sasha Banks didn’t get very far before Nia Jax came out looking fresh. She walked over to Alexa on commentary as Little Miss Bliss looked up with a worried puppy.

Emma got in some offense but Sasha Banks ended up locking in the Bank Statement and got her to submit.

Brock Lesnar

Lesnar and his Advocate came down to the ring and looked like they meant business. Heyman was out there to hype Lesnar’s upcoming Universal Title Match against Braun Strowman and The Beast Incarnate was out there to nod in agreement to everything Paul said.

Heyman started name dropping the people Brock has laid waste to along the way and totally mentioned Hulk Hogan in the process. Neat!

Heyman said when they used to lock people in the Brocktagon, “fighter are you ready?” Then Heyman asked if Braun was ready and ordered for them to fight.

Braun Strowman came out and took it to Lesnar. Brock tried to suplex him, but Braun blocked it. Strowman got Brock up for a running powerslam but Strowman countered it. Brock hit a German suplex and Braun popped right back up.

Then Braun Strowman hit a running powerslam and that seemed to do the damage. Strowman held up the Universal Championship and tossed it down on Brock. Then The Monster Among Men just walked off leaving Brock Lesnar laying on the mat.

Bray Wyatt vs Goldust

It seemed like Goldust was talking about some big plans recently but tonight he gets to tangle with The Eater Of Worlds. Before the match started, Bray came on the screen and said Goly is afraid.

He said he’s afraid to take off the paint and show who he really is. Just like Finn Balor. Bray said the paint is not power, it’s a weapon to protect him from the truth. He said Finn is just a man. If he would have said “Finn The Human” I would have had an Adventure Time geek out moment. Then Bray told Goldy to run and the fireflies came out in abundance during his entrance.

Goldust hit a boot to the face right off the bat and Bray went outside for some more punishment. But once they got back in the ring, Bray took control.

They took it outside again for a second and traded advantage until Bray hit the Sister Abigail for a quick win.

After the match was over, Bray grabbed a towel and rubbed off Goldust’s face paint. “He’s just a man like Finn Balor! He’s just a man!” Bray yelled.

Finn ran down to the ring and Bray scampered off.

Backstage Segment

Cesaro and Sheamus cut a promo against The Club. They hyped their match tonight but at least put them over for being a team unlike Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose. They said it’s easy to be a team when everything’s going their way. But they’ll change that at No Mercy.

The Club vs Sheamus and Cesaro

Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose were on commentary watching the match while sharing a pair of binoculars.

Sheamus and Cesaro didn’t even make it down the ramp before getting into a confrontation with Dean and Seth. They brawled on the ramp and The Club soon joined them.

Gallows and Anderson started fighting with Sheamus and Cesaro next while a slew of WWE officials came out to pull them apart.

Match…canceled…

Backstage Segment

Seth and Dean told Kurt Angle they wanted to face those guys tonight. Angle asked which guys they wanted to face and Seth said all of them.

Kurt said he’s not putting his tag team champions at risk and said if they find two people to tag with them then they can have an eight-man tag match tonight.

Everyone immediately started yelling “delete” in the crowd.

Asuka Is Coming

The Raw announce team asked each other how Kurt Angle pulled off “the deal” and then they aired a promo hyping Asuka’s debut on Raw…soon.

Backstage Segment

Nia Jax was shown watching the Asuka promo not looking very impressed. Bliss walked up to her and said this should be the Bliss and Jax show and they didn’t need a fatal four-way at No Mercy.

Bliss called the fatal four-way a “hot mess” and said Angle doesn’t appreciate how she and Jax are best friends. “We’re not best friends,” Nia said (which in reality is a lie.)

Bliss asked Jax if they can go back to being best friends and Nia said okay, but you’re not gonna wanna be best friends after you hear what I did. Apparently, Nia convinced WWE Raw General Manager Kurt Angle to book a one-on-one match against Bliss for next week.

Elias vs Kalisto

Elias was there in the ring with his trusty guitar just picking away. The people gave him heat but still cheered when he asked them if they’d walk with him. He said walking with him could be the best decision they’d ever make in their life.

After that, Elias played a nice little diddy where he buried the crowd. After Elias was able to rhyme “Mighty Ducks” with “Anaheim sucks” Kaliso came down to start their match.

Kaliso got in some offense but Elias quickly took control. He brutalized Kaliso around the ring for a bit and seemed like he really enjoyed inflicting pain on Kalisto.

Elias countered a move from Kalisto with a sick powerbomb, then he hit the Drift Away for the win.

John Cena vs Braun Strowman

John Cena looked pretty sure of himself until he heard Braun Strowman’s music hit. Then his smile just floated away. Braun overpowered Cena early on and John had to exit the ring to collect himself.

John tried a couple of things but it didn’t seem to be enough to get to Braun. Roman Reigns watched on the monitor backstage as The Monster Among Men continued to pick Big Match John apart.

Braun beat John down and didn’t let him breath for a few minutes. Then he let John crawl back up and hit a dropkick that didn’t phase Braun. However Strowman’s dropkick leveled Cena.

“It’s like being dropkicked by a Tyrannosaurus Rex!” Corey Graves shouted.

Braun tossed John against the mat time and time again while focusing on his right arm. Cena popped up and started to fight. He tried to get Braun up for the AA, but Strowman batted him down and shook his head “no” while smiling to the crowd.

It was all Braun Strowman. This match had a slow, methodical pace and Braun had full control. Cena tried to fight back but ended up leaping right into Strowman’s arms for a fallaway slam.

John took a bump off the steps on the outside and the abuse would continue. Cena reversed a throw into the ring apron by sending Braun into the ring instead but it barley phased him.

Cena got Braun half-way up for the AA but collapsed and Braun covered for a two count. “John Cena hasn’t been able to put one dollar in the bank in this match” Booker T said.

Cena moved out of the way and Braun ate a post. Then John hit a side suplex on Strowman but Braun leaped up and hit a spinebuster on Cena when he went for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. 1-2-kick out!

Finally, John hit the AA and it sent Braun Strowman rolling outside the ring. Braun crawled around the ring and prepared for Cena. John ran around the ring but ate some steel steps to the face right in front of the referee which should have been a DQ.

Braun tossed the steps in the ring and then tossed John in after it. Braun scooped up Cena and walked John around. He hit the powerslam on those steps and the referee finally called for the bell.

Braun stood tall on the stairs very proud of what he did.

Backstage, Roman said something into the mircophone but nobody could understand it because he spoke too softly and Braun’s music was too loud. Or maybe it was just the perfect combination of the two.

Backstage Segment

Dean and Seth were walking around backstage looking for tag team partners when low and behold, they run into the Hardy Boyz. Seth asks them if they’re doing anything tonight and Matt just smiles.

Miz TV 

Miz, Maryse, and his Miztourage came out to do verbal battle with Enzo Amore. Then Miz announced he and Maryse are pregnant. Miz said they wanted to announce it in the first place they met. He actually let Maryse tell them and Miz kind of broke character for a second.

“She’s got that glow,” Booker T said.

“Unlike Kurt Angle, I will be there for our child from day one” Miz said. Then he started to read a speech about being a father. Suddenly Enzo Amore’s music cut them off.

Enzo came out and he had a fire underneath him. Miz told Amore he interrupted a very emotional moment. Enzo said he came out to celebrate with them.

Miz started roasting Enzo by putting him over for being a success when he first came up but he started to slip. Miz said “that’s why you’re kicked off tour buses and that’s why you’re kicked out of the locker room.”

Miz said Enzo was put on WWE 205 Live because nobody else could stand him. Miz said he was like Enzo when he started but he regrouped and rebuilt himself. Miz said instead of asking for help, Enzo makes mistake after mistake. Miz said he sees so much talent in Enzo but he makes too many mistakes.

Miz said Enzo thinks he can hang with Neville while Amore just wants to hang out with third rate rappers. Miz said he doesn’t have a seven-foot-tall meal ticket anymore and now he’s just a con artist with a couple of catchphrases.

Enzo asked Miz if he wanted to get real and reminded Mikey he’s the Realest Guy In The Room. Enzo said Miz got heat because he copied everyone like Jericho and Flair. Enzo said he’s original and Miz isn’t because he’s a carbon copy of other people.

He said he’s going to beat Neville at WWE No Mercy and Miz is just a paper champion. Then Miz started listing his accolades.

Miz asked the crowd if they thought he was a paper champion and the crowd resoundingly said no. Miz said if Enzo’s championship material then his best friend wouldn’t have abandoned him.

Enzo said he wanted to fight him right there and now. Miz said he had no idea what he was getting into. Miz said said he’s going to teach Enzo how to be a champion and then Enzo did his SAWFT chant about Miz.

Looks like we’re going to have a match now.

Miz vs Enzo Amore

Enzo ducked a clothesline early on and did the Running Man. Then they shot off the ropes and Enzo rolled outside.

Amore grabbed the microphone and said Miz’s acting might be A-List but his wrestling’s going straight to DVD. Is he cutting promos in the middle of his matches now? Okay, Miz dropkicked Enzo through the ropes and grabbed a mic for himself.

Miz mocked Enzo on the mic while he bashed his head off the apron. Then he climbed to the top ropes but got crotched by Enzo when he hit the top rope.

Miz fell to the canvas while Enzo grabbed another mic. Enzo said the question you should be asking yourself is “how you doing?” and the question he should be asking that baby is “who’s your daddy?”

The Miz beat him senseless and tossed Enzo outside. The Miztourage started destroying Amore and the ref called for the bell. They did some more damage off the barricade and tossed Amore back in the ring. Miz stood over Enzo while the crowd chanted “who’s your daddy?”

Miz picked up Enzo and hit the Skull Crushing Finale. It looked like the ref was going to count anyway but instead, he just told Miz to leave him alone. After that, Miz and Maryse celebrated in the ring.

Enzo did not come off looking too good in this one which makes us wonder how into the Reality Era we might really be. Is he being absolutely killed on screen? Neville is the one actually facing him at WWE No Mercy and he didn’t have to lift a finger.

Afterward, Enzo was dragging himself on his own feet backstage. Neville walked up to him and just laughed. Then he walked away while still cackling and clutching his Cruiserweight Championship.

Sheamus and Cesaro and The Club vs Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose and The Hardy Boyz

It’s Matt Hardy! YAAAAAAS! If they could only decide when they’re going to pop on a Broken/Woken/Whatever gimmick that’d be just great. Corey Graves did say Matt was being “absolutely delicious tonight” but Michael Cole just said he’s happy.

Jeff and Cesaro started the match but Matt would soon get the tag. Booker T said The Hardyz might not be Tag Team Champions, but they’re the most popular tag team in the building.

Matt sent Sheamus and Cesaro to the floor and they hit the Poetry In Motion to the outside.

The heels tried to get the upper hand on Dean Ambrose but he used his unique offense and defense to avoid disaster until he took a kick to the head from Luke Gallows.

Sheamus and Cesaro eventually put some work on Dean and got a two count. The bar kept up the pressure until Gallows got the tag again. “This Gallows is a frightening dude,” Michael Cole said.

Anderson soon got the tag and kept the ring cut in half while Dean took more abuse. Cesaro got the tag and kept Ambrose grounded with a headlock while the crowd tried to rally on Ambrose’s side.

Dean tried to hit a backslide and finally got the pin and after some effort, he got a two count. But Sheamus soon hit a move on Dean and covered for the pin. 1-2-and Matt Hardy tripped coming in the ring and missed the spot to break up the pin but thankfully the ref stopped counting.

Corey Graves said the ref stopped counting because he saw Matt out of the corner of his eye, but we all know Matt tripped. But it was WONDERFUL!

Dean Ambrose would eventually rally but there wasn’t anyone to tag because they were all taken out for a variety of reasons. But Seth jumped up to get the tag just in time for Cesaro to stop Dean. The Swiss Cyborg was sent over the top rope and Dean tagged in Seth.

Rollins hit a blockbuster on Anderson, then he hit a suicide dive on Gallows followed by a flying clothesline to Karl coming back in. He kicked Anderson in the face but Gallows broke up the pin.

Both Hardys hit Twist Of Fates on Gallows and Sheamus and Cesaro left. Karl Anderson soon took finishers from Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose. 1-2-3 and the babyface team won the main event.