raw

They play a promo package from last week’s Raw ending. Mick Foley fired Steph and Hunter came out to get in his face. Then the chaos commenced with Mr. Socko and Seth Rollins respectively. This is a big story going onward and it’s also the one they need to build fastest because it’s been greatly neglected with Rollins’ injury.

Opening Segment

Mick Foley’s music hit at the beginning of Raw and the Brooklyn crowd gave him a well-deserved pop, “Foley” chants rose up in the Barclays Center which is a hell of a lot better than the chants that were reportedly going on earlier.

Mick Foley started reading from some kind of pre-prepared statement that sounds more like a resignation. He started reading very dryly about the events of last week and said he didn’t want “his exploits” to distract from WrestleMania. Then he said for the sake of WrestleMania and his own sanity he will be taking a “leave of absence.” The crowd didn’t like hearing this.

He then tore up his index cards and said Triple H handed them to him as he went out to read. Mick acted like he was going to lay down a hardcore pipe bomb when they started to cut his mic off. Then Stephanie McMahon’s music hit.

The Billion Dollar Princess came down wearing a black dress and an even blacker heart. She began berating Mrs. Foley’s Baby Boy and called him out for not knowing what to say. She said Mick doesn’t care about what’s best for business, he just cares about being liked Foley’s name is chanted throughout the building.

Stephanie then said she’s got two words for Mick while the whole crowd chanted “SUCK IT!” Instead, Steph said, “You’re fired!” Her daddy does it better.

Suddenly Sami Zayn’s music hit. Okay, that’ll work. He said what she’s doing to Mick is wrong, he got up in her face and told her she’s made a lot of bad decisions. Steph calls Mick Zayn’s broken down mentor as very loud “CM PUNK” chants start to ring out. Better than “We Want Paige.”

Zayn said Mick’s shown more class in the 9 months he’s been GM than Steph has in her whole life, she should be ashamed of herself. Sami Zayn is getting in Stephanie McMahon’s face, is this a dream?

Steph says Sami isn’t on a level that he can speak to her at all like this, but Zayn didn’t leave. McMahon offered to hit his “little ska music” so he could dance away, but the Underdog From The Underground didn’t move. Instead, Zayn said he’s not about doing the smart thing, he’s about doing the right thing. Suddenly Samoa Joe’s music hit and he came down to help Zayn do the right thing.

Steph then bid farewell to Mick Foley one more time in a way only she could, and announced Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe would be next on Raw. Sami jump-started the action by hitting an over the top rope flip on Joe.

Looks like they’ll be looking for a new Raw GM. How about Brad Maddox?

Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

Samoa Joe and Sami Zayn beat the hell out of each other to entertain this Brooklyn crowd. At one point Corey Graves called Sami Zayn a “social justice warrior”, that was cute. Regardless, the SJW got the unholy crap kicked out of him with some stiff shots and a stiffer suicide dive.

Joe yelled “You can’t escape me! You can’t escape me!” This match was very stiff indeed.

Joe beat Sami all over the ring, and at one point Sami almost got counted out, but nearly beat the 10-count from the referee before he masterfully slid back inside. Sami started his comeback at that point. He hit him with a stiff forearm, clothesline, and a cross body. Joe went under the rope, but as Sami turned to set up with the suicide dive, Joe grabbed Zayn’s foot and just pulled him outside, that was smart.

Sami hit Joe with that awesome through the ropes DDT thing he does through the corner. Very nice, we like it. That time Joe almost got counted out.

However, it wasn’t happy times for Sami much longer as The Destroyer caught Zayn as he went for the Helluva Kick and Joe soon had the Coquina Clutch strapped on the Underdog. Zayn tapped that time instead of just passing out like he did at Fastlane.

Backstage Segment

Mick Foley thanked Sami Zayn for defending him. He said it was stupid but he thanked him. Sami asked Mick not to go, but Foley said he was leaving it up to them now. Sami said he’s glad he got to meet his hero and gave Mickers a big sweaty hug.

Mick then walked over to Cesaro and Sheamus where they thanked him for putting them together. There were lots of stiff hugs given by all. As Mick began to walk down the hall of hugs, he was greeted by Bayley who gave him a big hug too, because that’s how she rolls.

Triple H strolled up to Mick and said, “Have a nice day” right in his face. As Mick left I began to wonder if his limo was going to blow up in the parking lot after that kind of hallway walking bit.

Update On Seth Rollins

Clips of Seth back in Birmingham, Alabama at rehab were shown. Michael Cole then interviewed some guy we don’t know who is the clinical director of the physical rehab Rollins is at. Kevin Wilk is his name just in case you wanted to add him as a friend on Facebook. Wilk said Seth is doing miraculously well, but he won’t be ready for WrestleMania. There’s no doctor in America that will clear him by WrestleMania… so looks like Seth might take a trip to Mexico!

Kevin Wilk went on to say it will be months before Seth will be ring ready and the only thing that saved his knee from being exploded was the knee brace he was wearing last week.

Charlotte vs. Dana Brooke

Okay, we’re going to get right into this one. There won’t be any weeks of hyping these two getting ahold of each other because they’re going right for it. Dana Brooke got her hands on Charlotte and the other way around for the first time in an official fashion in Brooklyn. We forgot how nifty that flip thing Dana does during her entrance was.

Dana hit Charlotte with some powerful tosses and a few shots before Charlotte got out of the ring. The Nature Girl tried to pick her timing to get back in so she could gain an advantage, but Dana was two steps ahead of her. Dana slammed Char Char’s face into the mat after a rest hold and it looked like it hurt.

“We Want Paige” chants rang out through the arena on Raw as Dana continued on with her assault. Charlotte ended up catching a big boot and hit the three count, that’s literally all it took. Dana did all that to Charlotte and one boot was all she wrote for Brooke. Okay. Way to put someone over, I guess.

Backstage Segment

Stephanie rolled across Bayley who looked like a sad puppy. Steph asked if Bayley wants a hug and the Hugger said she didn’t want one from her. Stephanie told Bayley she is going to have to earn it every single night. Stephanie then said Bayley has a match against Nia Jax tonight and if The Girl Who’s Not Like Most Girls wins, she’s going to be added to the Raw Women’s Title match at Mania.

Highlight Reel Jericho vs. Owens

Jericho called Owens a muttonhead and said he didn’t need Kevin to be his friend because he’s got a lot of friends. He said he’s got the Friends of Jericho, “CHEER ME ON MAAAAAAN!” the Raw crowd loved it and responded by chanting “Y2J” very loudly.

Jericho then said he’s going to show us the real Kevin Owens and posted a picture of Kevin Owens at 16-years-old wearing a Y2J shirt with his arms outstretched like Jericho does in his entrance. Jericho said Owens was “MARKING OUT MAAAAAAN!” That was hilarious.

Jericho then put Owens on blast in a huge way by showing “real” DMs from Twitter between the two of them where Owens messaged Jericho asking him for advice when KO was first getting signed by WWE in 2014. Heartless invasion of privacy, don’t cha think?

Jericho said he’s going to turn Kevin back into that 16-year-old fan with a Chris Jericho poster on his wall and a Y2J shirt on his back. He’s going to realize why he’s the GOAT, and the promo was just stellar. Just outstanding. Jericho called Owens a “stupid idiot” and the whole crowd chanted “stupid idiot.”

Chris put the cherry on top of the segment by putting Kevin Owens on The List Of Jericho. This crowd was so into the segment, but just as Jericho was about to put Kevin’s name on the list, Samoa Joe came down the ramp. As Jericho’s back was turned, Kevin Owens came from behind and attacked him.

Owens hit Y2J with a pop-up powerbomb and ended one of the best in-ring promos we’ve seen in a long damn time. Kevin picked up The List Of Jericho and tore it up as the crowd booed him heavily.

Kevin Owens even got a good amount of “ass—-” chants before he made his way back up the ramp.

TJ Perkins vs. The Brian Kendrick

It’s purple rope time again, and Brian Kendrick got a nice little pop for his entrance. There wasn’t much for Perkins because his shelf life very might have expired already. But, he’s young and needs to develop more of a character. Don’t count TJ out just yet.

Perkins got the upper hand early on in the match and hit Kendrick with some serious moves, some stiff shots, and a top rope cross body. Brian threw TJ into the referee however, Perkins blocked himself and didn’t hit the ref. It was the blink of an eye before The Brian Kendrick hit Sliced Break #2 on TJP and got the win.

Afterwards, Kendrick got on the mic, and called out Akira Tozawa. He called himself a “s—— duck” but Tozawa was nowhere to be found. Then Brian said Akira wasn’t in the country because he didn’t have his passport.

Brian Kendrick pulled Akira Tozawa’s passport out of his jacket and said people need to be careful what they leave in the locker room. Either they’re playing on the whole ROH situation where they had to cancel that Jushin Liger match at Supercard of Honor due to visa issues or they’re explaining why Tozawa wasn’t on Raw.

Backstage Segment

Roman Reigns said this is his yard and he’s not concerned with The Undertaker. Okay, that happened. Duly noted, Big Dog.

Sheamus and Cesaro were backstage talking like bros, and Stephanie said they were getting along like peas and carrots. McMahon then said Cesaro and Sheamus are going to have to re-earn their spots in the Mania match in a 4-on-2 match against Enzo and Big Cass and The Club.

Stephanie said, “have a nice day” and left as her nose crinkled like she just smelled a fart.

Nia Jax vs. Bayley – No DQ Match (If Nia Wins She Gets Put In The Mania Match)

Nia Jax’s eyes are certainly there because the camera is able to find them every week from across the arena and get a tight shot of them. I wonder if her entrance at Mania will just be her stepping out from in between huge blown up versions of her own eyes. That would be sick.

Bayley and Jax wrestled for a bit and Nia didn’t let the Hugger get much of an upper hand. She grabbed Bayley by the hair and tossed her again while both Charlotte and Sasha looked on backstage on separate monitors (even though they were probably just standing on opposite sides of the same room). Nia tossed Bayley around like a rag doll on the outside while the referee didn’t really seem to be counting them out. Nia ran at Bayley, but she moved and Jax went careening into the steel ring steps.

Nia maintained control with a rear chin lock, but Bayley started to fight back when Raw came back from commercial break, isn’t it just funny how that always happens. The crowd erupted in an “ass—-” chant for some reason as Nia started to demolish Bayley even further.

Jax threw Bayley against the barricade on the outside in very hard fashion and grabbed a chair. Bayley kicked the chair out of Nia’s hands and didn’t let her use it. Bayley jumped on top and hit Jax with a cross body for a two count.

“CM Punk” chants started to ring out as Nia Jax hit the Samoan Drop on Bayley and got the three count.

The WrestleMania Raw Women’s Championship match is now officially a fatal four way.

Triple H Says Stuffs To Michael Cole

Triple H came down to a thunderous ovation from the Brooklyn Crowd. He looked cocky as ever in his expensive suit and he had a big smile on his face. He said he was having a nice day, that was cute.

The crowd chanted “CM PUNK” but Triple H carried on and barreled through their chants. Hunter delivered a promo about Rollins and Mick Foley. Trips said all of Foley’s injuries are to blame on the audience and so are Seth Rollins’ injuries.

Triple H called Michael Cole a journalist and told him to go to the tape from last week. They played footage of the beating Rollins took at the end of last week’s show because we all wanted to see it again, right?

Hunter blamed the crowd as soon as the footage came back “that’s on you, that’s all your fault” he said as he wagged his finger at the Brooklyn crowd. Triple H delivers the best heel promos, let’s just address that fact. Hunter said he’s officially done with Seth Rollins. He gave a couple of “comp tickets” to WrestleMania to Michael Cole and told him to give them to Rollins when he sees him.

Triple H asked if there was a way he could fight Seth Rollins at Mania. We’re smelling a non-sanctioned match here. He said he could draw up an agreement where Rollins won’t sue Trips or WWE if he gets demolished at WrestleMania and if Seth signs it next week on Raw, then it could happen.

Triple H told Seth to show the fans who he is, “or are you just a freaking coward.”

Therefore, it looks like we’re going to get this Triple H/Seth Rollins match after all at WrestleMania 33, it’ll just be non-sanctioned. Kinda like the match Hunter had with Shawn Michaels at Summerslam that he lost. Cool.

Cesaro and Sheamus vs. The Club and Enzo/Big Cass

Stephenie McMahon is on the warpath and she’s punishing all of Mick Foley’s pet projects. She set this handicapped match up to try and screw Sheamus and Cesaro out of the Raw Tag Team Title match at Mania. This tactic worked earlier as Nia Jax earned a spot in the Raw Women’s Title Match, so Steph was looking to go 2-for-2.

Enzo and Cass were over in a big way. This Brooklyn crowd was obviously feeling the Realest Guys In The Room, how you doin’? Big Cass said he and Enzo have home field advantage so Sheamus and Cesaro aren’t going to WrestleMania, then he called The Club the Mr. Clean Dream Team, The No Hair Club For Men, among other clever bald jokes.

This caused The Club to jump their tag team partners and the match started with half of the bigger team already injured on the outside. Shesaro won the match in very quick fashion as the 4-man team couldn’t quite get it together because they kept fighting amongst themselves.

Backstage Segment

The New Day appeared in a short pre-taped segment where they hyped WrestleMania so WWE could just mute the Raw crowd who were undoubtedly chanting very dirty things at Xavier Woods. That was clever.

Austin Aries vs. Tony Nese  

Let’s just get this out there, A Double has some of the coolest music. We just love it. The song might not be a “Glorious”, but it’s pretty darn incredible. Tony Nese has pretty cool music too for that matter, but he’s not The Greatest Man That Every Lived.

Nese took it to A Double quickly and even though he tried to get back in control, Aries couldn’t get things going early on. However, Austin Aries ended up hitting Nese with a suicide dive that looked as dangerous as can be to solidify control once more.

Nese trapped Austin Aries in a standing torture rack for a bit, but A Double fought his way out of it as he turned it into a roll-up pin for a two-count. Tony Nese got hit with a reverse neckbreaker as Austin used the top rope as a weapon during the move. Aries hit him with a facebuster/STF combo and then the pendulum elbow. Aries jumped on the top rope and hit a missile drop kick followed by a stiff elbow in the corner then the “Discus 5 Arm” as Corey Graves called it.

Aries got the win as Michael Cole begged Austin Aries to “please come back to the announce table.”

Neville came out and played dueling microphones with Austin Aries. Neville obviously didn’t win the exchange.

Emma Promo 

We get another Emma promo because we’re just that lucky! She’s coming back to Raw! Set your sundials kids!

Brock Lesnar/Goldberg Promo

They’ve been playing these all night, they’re really hyping the Universal Title match the best they can between two part-timers. Because Goldberg isn’t in the building and if Brock Lesnar is, then he’s probably just going to show up after Raw goes off the air to F5 someone like Big Show and leave.

Roman Reigns vs Braun Strowman

They didn’t really leave a ton of time for this match. Roman was already in the ring because Kevin Dunn was probably tired of hitting the mute button all night, so they just cut out the heel heat he got during his entrance. Braun Strowman came out looking angry and ready to go.

Roman started off the match fast by hitting Braun with all he had. Right hands and left hands, but he wasn’t able to get Braun to move much. Roman hit Strowman with a kick, but the Monster Among Men just landed on his feet on the outside.

Roman went for a drive-by, but Braun clotheslined him out of the air. That was awesome. Roman took another powerful slam from Braun, but he kicked out at two.

Roman looked hurt a Cole said, Strowman was “hell-bent on destruction” and Graves said he was “hell-bent on finishing what he started.” That’s a lotta hell.

Strowman threw Reigns into the top turnbuckle with such force The Big Dog just bounced off of it and went crashing to the mat. Braun locked on a huge rear chinlock on Reigns and held him down.

Roman finally broke free of the hold and hit Braun with a clothesline but the bigger of the two men didn’t move. Roman tried to hoist Braun up in a fireman’s carry, but he couldn’t get him up. Strowman just swung his arm and batted Reigns down.

“We want Taker” chants started to roll from this Brooklyn crowd as Braun stood over a broken Roman Reigns. The former member of The Shield moved out of the way when Strowman went charging for him and Braun ran into a corner post.

Reigns got him with several clotheslines and finally hit Braun with one of the slowest Samoan drops we’ve ever seen. Roman hit a drive-by on Braun, but Strowman threw The Big Dog into the steel ring steps.

Braun tossed a set of the steps in the ring and looked like he had ill intentions indeed. Strowman picked up the stairs, but Roman hit an awkward Superman punch on him and the steps went outside the ring. Roman battled Braun off a couple of times and hit another Superman punch, he got Strowman in the position to take a spear when “GONG.”

The lights went out, and when they came back on, The Undertaker was in the ring looking Roman in the face. “Holy s—” chants went off in Brooklyn as the two men stared at each other. Taker turned and hit Strowman with a chokeslam and Braun rolled out of the ring.

As soon as The Undertaker turned back around he was taking a spear from Roman Reigns. The music that used to belong to The Shield blared on the speakers as Roman exited the ring but it was cut off suddenly as Taker sat up in a way only he can.

The Deadman slashed his throat with his thumb and the lights turned blue while The Undertaker’s music hit instead. Roman looked on at Taker as a WrestleMania logo hung above Big Evil’s shoulder, maybe for one of the final times.