I imagine meeting your favorite superstar would be a great time, but imagine if you had to bring them home for dinner with your family?
Considering all of the crazy things that happen in the wrestling world in a weekly basis, having your favorite WWE star over for dinner might be more trouble than it’s worth.
Here’s a list of 5 Superstars I’d rather not break bread with….
Imagine opening the door for your dinner guest and standing on the other side is a snarling, sweating, grunting, drooling, and grumpy Ryback. After his recent string of backstage bullying attacks could you imagine what Ryback would have in store for your little brother or your computer programming father? What if your uncle calls him Goldberg by accident? I personally believe he would eat anything you put in front of him (except cold soup) and also polish off whatever was on your plate which is probably for the best because all the drool and spit coming from his never closed mouth would have to have landed on your dish at some point. If you are looking to have a nice dinner with one of your idols I recommend not asking Ryback.
4. Big Daddy V (RIP)
Can you imagine the smell of your bathroom after Big Daddy V throws down a whole Thanksgiving dinner? The one upside here is no need for any drinks because the gravy will do just fine. You may need a reinforced steel chair to hold the mass of this once imposing WWE vet. If things get out of control when he realizes you don’t have enough food to satisfy his humongous and never ending appetite, you may want to consider a fast escape because we both know you’ll have some time while he struggles to remove the chair that is now stuck on his backside. I’ll leave you with this one final thought on why he is a terrible choice for a dinner guest…try sleeping with the image of this behemoth licking his fingers as he stares delicately into your girlfriends eyes.
3. Zeb Colter
Well to start this one off DO NOT serve tacos. If you dare to make this bold choice and ignore my warnings then be prepared for an all night conversation about how America’s underwear is invading “his” once great country. Not only will he not shut up during the duration of the meal but can you imagine trying to keep track of how much food gets stuck in his glorious upper lip rug? The big kicker here is we all hate people who show up to your home/apartment with unannounced guests and you know he will not go anywhere without his Real American counterparts. So make sure you have enough food for his friends and enough to keep him chewing instead of talking nonsense.
2. Stone Cold Steve Austin
On the face this one seems like it would be a meal for the ages but when you dig deeper trust me when I say the Rattlesnake would be a terrible guest. First off before the meal even starts you know for a fact he would drive his truck into the side of your house. Then as soon as he steps out of his vehicle there will be 30 empty beer cans that will fall out and onto your rug. When you finally get him to settle down and sit at your table the first thing he will do is crack open another few beers, smash them together and cover your dining room with liquids. If you happen to cook something he doesn’t enjoy you know the plate is getting tossed against your wall. Finally after all your hard work to impress your guest his parting gift before he enters his truck (that’s still parked in your living room) is a Stone Cold Stunner.
1. Val Venis
First of all arriving oiled up in a towel will be a sure fire way to make Granny blush and if that doesn’t do it Val gyrating his hips against her daughter/your mother will be sure to make old Nana faint. Whatever you do, you have to remember that hotdogs can not be on the menu because the buns will more then likely end up wrapped around his man bologna. Not only would you feel very uncomfortable during the ordeal but you know for a fact that your father will be fuming. All the sexual advances and innuendos the Big Valboski would be throwing your little sisters way would be sure to have pops heading upstairs to unlock his gun cabinet. Daddy better not take too long because leaving Mr. Venis enough time alone with the females of your family will be sure to end with a money shot and no one will have room for desert.